Making the Cut

Nobody is perfect. That is a proven fact. As human beings our lives come with flaws and imperfections. By nature we have faults. Despite these known qualities, we often compare ourselves with others. There just always seems to be that one person who is better than you. Maybe they have a better body, better grades, or a better boyfriend. We often feel like we don’t make the cut. People often find themselves striving to achieve some preconceived standards for themselves. Why is it that we live in a society where we look up to unrealistic standards for ourselves. In the media, we have reality stars such as the Kardashians flaunting their lavish lifestyles, beautiful clothes, and minute problems. We are being conditioned to believe that some people seem to have it all when it comes to life. That is far from the case. In the media, they often fail to represent the genuine struggles that people on those reality shows actually face. The pressures of fame and money often cause serious havoc on their actual lives. Apart from reality stars, the people who might appear “perfect” might actually be going through something life altering. Don’t fall into the facade of the quintessential life. Some people are good at hiding their flaws. Be appreciative of who you are. You are unique and wonderful in your own way.

Personally, I know how it feel to not feel good enough. Going to a highly prestigious school with people from all different academic and socioeconomic backgrounds I often felt compelled to over achieve. That was not necessarily a bad trait to possess, but their was definitely pressure to uphold a certain standard of excellence. People were so concerned with their class rankings and grades that we hardly had time to just be normal teenagers. This kind of pressure on yourself is significantly detrimental. In life, you should strive for higher achievement, but do so for your personal growth as opposed to a competitive incentive. Your incentive in life to be the best possible you. That is all you can be. Sometimes, the people who are on the top feel miserable because they stress themselves out too much. They often put up a front to disguise the fact that they feel miserable. The only standards that you should live up to are the ones that you set for yourself. You should be your own critic. Do not let anyone else set a definition for who you are meant to be. Be your own unique you. When you do this, you will always make the cut.

Skinny Teatox

If you have been on social media, I’m sure you have seen pictures about different teatoxes. There are things such as flattummy tea, to matefit tea. It’s hard to know whats good out there. Do they really work? Well, I am just the person to find out. I have decided to try Skinny Teatox. Skinny Teatox is a 100% natural detox tea program that promotes good health and weight loss. One of my resolutions this year is to lose some weight. I am thrilled to see how this teatox will work for me. It is designed to help you lose weight, burn calories, boost metabolism, cleanse, detoxify, suppress apetite, and increase energy levels. We could all use some of that! All the ingredients are natural. There are no chemicals or preservatives. The ingredients include tea leaves, senna leaf, ginseng, chrysanthemum, cinnamon bark, cloves, rhubarb, ginger, and more. Skinny Teatox is a two step program. It is divided into morning tea and evening tea. The morning tea is formulated to give you a constant supply of energy all day. It increases your metabolism and aids in appetite suppression. The evening tea cleanses and detoxifies the body. It’s a colon cleanse that flushes out your digestive tract of toxins and unwanted excess which could be making it more difficult for you to lose weight. As mentioned earlier, I have not tried it but it apparently tastes delicious. The night tea is supposedly not as delicious as the morning tea, but hey it does the work. This tea is a supplement to your healthy lifestyle. This means its important to eat healthily and workout while you are own the detox. Well, I’m super stoked to be trying this. I hope that I get fabulous results.
The link is skinny-teatox.com
Sincerely,
Abisola

LET IT GO!

From the title of this post, you might think that I’m making an ode to the popular Frozen song “Let it Go”. However, I’m here today to discuss a more sensitive matter. My goal today is to talk about forgiveness. Forgiveness can be one of the most challenging things to do in life. As human beings, we have the tendency to hold onto things that have given us burdens. We often carry the load of things that our Lord and Savior would be glad to handle for us. Holding onto baggage can only detour you in life. Storing the baggage of hurt, can only cause strife. It makes you a negative person who will eventually end up miserable. If you are holding onto an emotional load, don’t be dismayed. I know how difficult it is to forgive. Personally, I have dealt with emotional baggage before. When my father walked out of our lives as a child, I held the pain of that wound for a long time. I always said that I would forgive but definitely not forget. It took years for me to let go of the pain of his absence. Nonetheless, I knew that I had to forgive him to get clarity in my life. Forgiving him was definitely not easy. Deciding to forgive makes you the bigger person. No one is meant to carry burdens. As a Christian, forgiveness taught me to be more like the father. Who am I, to hold onto emotional pain, when my heavenly father forgives me of my sins daily? It just clicked. Forgiveness was the key. When I forgave my father, it was like a load off my chest. So how do you learn to forgive? The first step to forgiveness is identifying what hurts you the most. How can this help you? Well, for starters identifying what hurts you most allows you to pinpoint exactly what needs to be forgiven. It creates the blueprint for the forgiveness process. Subsequently, in order to forgive you must be comfortable with the fact that you are letting go of something that you did not cause. That can be a hard pill to swallow. When you realize that you were not at fault, yet you are deliberately forgiving the perpetrator, you reach a heightened level of maturity. The next step in the forgiveness process is the actual forgiveness part. Somehow in your head, you have to get over what hurt you. You have to be accepting of the fact that whatever was causing you emotional heartache, is something that you are wanting to be ok with. You are alleviating the wounds. I’m not saying that doing this won’t come with scars, because it definitely will. However, time will heal the scars and make them less visible. You are in charge of your own life. Forgiveness uplifts you and sets you free. It detoxes you emotionally. If you are dealing with the process of forgiveness or want to know more about how to forgive, feel free to comment.

Thanks for listening,
Abisola

Who are you?

Every one has an identity. Your identity is what makes you a unique human being. It is what you describe yourself as. It is your epithet. It makes up who you are. There are several different forms of identity. These can be your age, sexual orientation, race, socioeconomic background, and more. How your perceive yourself tells a lot about your moral character. It shows the standard you want to set for yourself. As we age, we often discover who we are. As a child, your self identity is very vague and uncharted. As a teenager, and a young adult your are able to start figuring out the pieces of the puzzle that makes you a unique human being. Self-discovery can be quite difficult to do. For some, people find self discovery by going through a rebellious phase. This phase often encompasses breaking rules, experimenting with substances, and being just flat out unruly. I definitely would not recommend that. Personally, one of the ways in which I have learned self identity is through prayer. When you have a spiritual outlet to connect to your self identity is something that is based on your spiritual enlightenment. For example, I identify myself as a child of God. I am the daughter of the most high king. My worth and self-perspective is based on my Christian principles. These principles tell me that I am someone that is fearfully and wonderfully made. It also says that I have value and I am loved by the most high father. I would also describe myself as a Nigerian American. Both my parents are Nigerian and that has definitely influenced who I am as an individual. For example, the culture highly regards respect. Thus, I am a highly respectful person. I always make sure to say “yes ma’m and no sir”. My etiquette amongst my elders is that of great reverence. Despite the strong ties of my Nigerian background I would describe myself as an American. As an American I embrace the diversity of this melting pot in which we live in and live like a typical American teenager. Another way to find yourself is by identifying your interests. What do you like to do for fun? What activities are you good at? Identifying these interests will help you pinpoint the qualities that make up the individual that you are. Why is it important to know your self? It is important to know yourself because without self-discovery we are vulnerable to falling emotionally. For example, if you don’t value yourself as an individual, you are bound to do things that are detrimental to you such as getting into a bad relationship or doing things that are harmful to your body. A sense of self-worth something that everyone needs to develop. When you have self-worth your life becomes more valuable and you live more purposefully. Your overall well being will be happier. I hope you learn to discover your self. That’s all for today.

Sincerely,
Abisola

I’ll Do It Later…

Procrastination, literally everyone does it. In fact, I’m doing it right now as I’m writing this. There are a ton of other things that I could be doing but I currently choose to write this post. As a former IB student, we often prided ourselves on the idea that we could work on a limited time span. We were known for our procrastination. It’s not that we did not care about our work, we just had a bunch of other duties to think of. That is often one of the most common reasons for procrastination. I have too much to do, in too little time. However, procrastination can be extremely detrimental. For example, if you have an exam and hold off on studying you often face the consequences of getting a bad grade. Correspondingly, I can attest to how waiting to do the laundry adds up to a mountain of clothes in your room. Nobody wants that. Likewise, procrastination takes eventually takes away from your free time. Whether its cramming for the exam or having to fold the mountain of clothes, your life would be easier if you worked ahead. One of my goals this year was to be more organized. Organization is one of the key factors when combating procrastination. Well how do you become more organized? Planning! I am a huge fan of making to-do lists. You can make one for the day or for the week. Having a tentative plan of what you have to do really sets you up for a better day. The next tip I would have to say is to make small goals. Don’t load your to-do list with a bunch of intangible goals. In order to accomplish your goals you need to make them managible. For instance, instead of making a goal to finish a paper, study for the math test, and clean your room, make a goal to just finish your paper. Adding up the little goals that you make really helps you stay motivated. Furthermore, I advise anyone who wants to stop procrastinating to reward yourself for the little goals that you make. If you finish studying for biology, then you can watch a couple of episodes of your favorite TV show. It’s all about finding balance between work and play. Giving yourself a reward is a wonderful incentive to keep you on track. Additionally, work on your most tedious task first. Once you knock out the hardest task, everything else will come along smoothly. I also want to warn you to limit distractions. Distractions are everywhere but if you make a concrete effort to avoid them, you will be less likely to procrastinate. Avoiding distractions can simply be changing your venue, or turning off the tv. One of the biggest distractions we have now adays is our cell phones. If you are trying to do something important, turn off your cell phone. Trust me, it works every time. Well, that’s about it. I hope you found my tips helpful. I hope you stop procrastinating. Go out and do something.

Sincerely,

Abisola

Dealing with Strict Parents

As a child your parents are like your government. They control the foundation of your life. They are the ones that set the rules for your household. They are your lawyers and your judge. I grew up in a single family home. However, that did not stop me from getting the full parental force. My mom was/is strict. She definitely laid down the law. She was one of those mothers that lived by the old school rules. I was spanked and even till today she sometimes “jokingly” threatens to wallop me. Dealing with a strict parent means not being allowed to do whatever you want. I know how frustrating it is seeing other kids being able to have the freedom that you might not ever be able to get. I also know how astonishing it is seeing your friends treat their parents rudely. You wonder how are they still alive treating their parents like that. One of my pet peeves was the way my mother controlled my dressing. I was that kid that rarely was able to wear shorts. Every where I went I was one of the most modest kids out there. Even today my mother insists that I wear tights with everything. One of the most challenging aspects of dealing with my mom was the cultural difference. If any of you have been raised by foreign parents I am sure you can attest to that. It is extremely difficult meeting the standards of your culture with the American standards. They never seem to match up. As a first generation Nigerian American I found it excruciatingly challenging to meet up as the perfect Nigerian daughter that I felt my mother was trying to raise me as. There are just certain aspects of the culture that you cannot familiarize yourself with. You often feel like you don’t meet up with the standards. Also, I’m sure that if we’ve all had strict parents you’ve all had to deal with the stories of how perfect they were when they were younger. Sometimes you ask yourself what do they really want from you. Well I’m here to tell you that it gets better. As you become older your parents are more likely to see you as the mature person that you are becoming and will respect your ideas. My advice for anyone dealing with strict parents is to be patient. Hear your parents out. Sometimes their choices for you can be the best decision. Parents generally know what is best for you. Also as you grow up you might learn to appreciate your strict parents more. You learn that most of the choices that they made for you are there to protect you. You can’t choose your parents but you can learn to embrace them for who they are. My advice is to try to obey them as much as possible. I know its tough, but if you do you will avoid arguments. Also, when trying to speak your mind to a strict parent, make sure you do so as politely as possible. Strict parents love to see how mannered you are. They are also more likely to consider your ideas if you are polite with them. I hope I gave you some insight on dealing with strict parents. I know the struggle can be so real. Remember it won’t be long till your all grown up. Hang in there.

Thanks for listening,

Abisola

Kryptonite

In life Kryptonite is not just for superman. Everybody has a weakness. The goal in life is finding out what your kryptonite is and evaluating how to manage it. Your weaknesses can be in your personal life, eating habits, relationships, and more. This Achilles heel may be something that you can’t seem to control like an addiction. I haven’t shared this with any one, but for a long time I would say that I had a non-diagnosed eating disorder. I struggled with body image and finding my perfect size. I often compared myself with my naturally skinny sister who had an overactive thyroid. Unlike her, I had the tendency to gain weight alot faster. I remember in the 4th grade I weighed like 65lbs and was sobbing because I thought I was fat. This struggle followed me into my early tween years in middle school. I would overexert myself with exercise. I would tie heavy wraps on my stomach to make it look flatter. I would also try to eat significantly less. Once, in a time of desperation, I even Googled how to throw up. I wanted to be skinny by all means. I guess you could say I had an addiction to “fitness”. Then, in high school I started embracing my body more. I realized that I would never be stick-thin and that was ok with me. I currently say that even though I weight the most I have in my life, I am healthy and am genuinely happy. Maybe your kryptonite is falling for the wrong guy. Maybe its being fearful and timid. Maybe its spending too much money. My advice to anyone that is going through an addiction or bad negative repetitive cycles is to talk it out. Even right now, as I am writing this I feel significantly better for sharing this. Talking about your issues may seem difficult but trust me it is much better than sucking it all in. Furthermore, another way to defeat your kryptonite is finding the root of the problem. Why is it that you keep falling into negative relationship? Why do I keep overeating? What triggers myself from getting into arguments? Once you know the root of the problem, you are half-way there. Lastly, I would advice anyone who is dealing with a weakness to seek spiritual clearance. As a Christian,thinking about the love and grace of God gets me through everything. Knowing that there is some one there that is accountable for me gives me some stability. Think to your self “WWJD” (What Would Jesus Do). I hope I gave you some helpful tools for overcoming your personal kryptonites.

Thanks for reading,

Abisola

Fear Factor

Every one is afraid of something. Whether its physical, emotional, or spiritual, there is something out there in the world that is frightening or intimidating to you. Fear is one of the most stifling emotions one can possess. It hinders your actions and sets you backward. Some fears stem from emotional heartache, psychological illness, or just irrational thought. When you think about it what’s there to fear besides fear itself. I am a firm believer that fear is something that you can control. How can you control fear you might ask? Well, to start with if your a spiritual person, one of the best ways to deal with fear is by prayer. Prayer allows you to talk to God in a way that is personal. You can be open with God about your fears and ask him to help you deal with the fear. Secondly, you can find the root of your fear. Does your fear stem from a bad childhood experience? Is it triggered by something tangible? What is the worst thing that could happen? What is the likelihood of those things occurring. These are some of the things you can ask yourself when dealing with fearful things. Furthermore, you can make a list of the things that are holding you back. You can also make a list of the things you are missing out due to your fear. When you analyze these factors, it puts a better perspective on how trivial your fear is. Most fears are irrational. Fear causes you to live a sheltered confined life. There is so much out there in the world. If you allow fear to control your life, you will never experience life to the fullest. Fear takes time to get over. However, living your life fear-free will bring you the greatest happiness. Living fear free is liberating. Take the time to analyze and assess your fears. Pin-pointing them will make them seem minute to you. So live your life fearlessly.

Sincerely,
Abisola