Dealing with Strict Parents

As a child your parents are like your government. They control the foundation of your life. They are the ones that set the rules for your household. They are your lawyers and your judge. I grew up in a single family home. However, that did not stop me from getting the full parental force. My mom was/is strict. She definitely laid down the law. She was one of those mothers that lived by the old school rules. I was spanked and even till today she sometimes “jokingly” threatens to wallop me. Dealing with a strict parent means not being allowed to do whatever you want. I know how frustrating it is seeing other kids being able to have the freedom that you might not ever be able to get. I also know how astonishing it is seeing your friends treat their parents rudely. You wonder how are they still alive treating their parents like that. One of my pet peeves was the way my mother controlled my dressing. I was that kid that rarely was able to wear shorts. Every where I went I was one of the most modest kids out there. Even today my mother insists that I wear tights with everything. One of the most challenging aspects of dealing with my mom was the cultural difference. If any of you have been raised by foreign parents I am sure you can attest to that. It is extremely difficult meeting the standards of your culture with the American standards. They never seem to match up. As a first generation Nigerian American I found it excruciatingly challenging to meet up as the perfect Nigerian daughter that I felt my mother was trying to raise me as. There are just certain aspects of the culture that you cannot familiarize yourself with. You often feel like you don’t meet up with the standards. Also, I’m sure that if we’ve all had strict parents you’ve all had to deal with the stories of how perfect they were when they were younger. Sometimes you ask yourself what do they really want from you. Well I’m here to tell you that it gets better. As you become older your parents are more likely to see you as the mature person that you are becoming and will respect your ideas. My advice for anyone dealing with strict parents is to be patient. Hear your parents out. Sometimes their choices for you can be the best decision. Parents generally know what is best for you. Also as you grow up you might learn to appreciate your strict parents more. You learn that most of the choices that they made for you are there to protect you. You can’t choose your parents but you can learn to embrace them for who they are. My advice is to try to obey them as much as possible. I know its tough, but if you do you will avoid arguments. Also, when trying to speak your mind to a strict parent, make sure you do so as politely as possible. Strict parents love to see how mannered you are. They are also more likely to consider your ideas if you are polite with them. I hope I gave you some insight on dealing with strict parents. I know the struggle can be so real. Remember it won’t be long till your all grown up. Hang in there.

Thanks for listening,

Abisola