The Sound of Music

For those of you who are into musicals, you will know that The Sound of Music is a classic musical. It’s one of my family’s favorite musicals. Today’s post is not going to be a review of the musical. However, it is an ode to music. Music is virtually every where. It’s in elevators. It’s in shopping malls. It’s played in restaurants. Heck, I’m listening to music now on Pandora. Music is one of the largest industries in the world. It is the backbone of pop culture. Music has played a very significant role in my life. I have loved music ever since I could remember. I started singing at around 4 or 5 years old. My sister and I would make songs to sing to our parents. I would like to give her a quick shoutout. She is probably the main reasons why I sing today. At a young age she taught me alot about music. She was the foundation of my musical background. However, as we got older our tastes in music began to vary. I would say that I am pretty versed in music. I’m no virtuoso, but I know a great deal about music. On a classical standpoint, I know how to read sheet music. I have also been apart of choirs. In fact, I am planning on joining the gospel choir when I attend the University of Central Florida. I also plan on doing theatrical shows (but acting is another story). I’ve taken a music theory course. I am also currently in a class called Music Appreciation. Although I don’t really enjoy the technical aspects of music, I think its important to have that background knowledge. If I had the opportunity I would even pursue a career in music. However, I am very realistic and know that that can be a difficult feat to achieve. Therefore, I will pursue my journalism career and do music on the side. For those of you who don’t know, I would consider myself a singer/songwriter. I have been writing songs since about the age of 13. I stopped for a while after attending a vary rigorous school. However, now that I don’t attend the school anymore, I have time to write songs again. Why is music important? Music is the universal language. It impacts our emotions in ways that other art forms don’t. Whenever I go through difficult situations, I listen to songs that portray what I am going through. If there isn’t a song that embodies my emotions, I will write a song.  Music can be a spiritual experience. At church, praise and worship is my favorite and most fulfilling aspect of the service. There’s nothing like connecting to a spiritual song and expressing those emotions to your savior. Continuing with the spirituality of music, it is so critical to be careful of what you listen too. Now, I’m not a huge proponent of listening to music that is strictly Christian. I feel like there are so many styles of music that are positive or enjoyable without referencing God. Nonetheless, if you dwell on music that is vulgar, violent, and disrespectful, it can change your behavior. For example, certain rap songs have misogynistic undertones and glorify drug use. I’m guilty of listening to them (but I’m trying).  Despite this, some songs with the worst messages end up being the most popular. What I’m basically saying is please don’t dwell on the lyrics to a Fetty Wap song. Yes, it’s ok to dance and jam out to, but if you take the lyrics too seriously, they can impact your perspective on life. So what type of music do I listen to? Well, I listen to a wide variety of music. I listen to basically every genre, (except country and screamo). I like to be stimulated by a wide range of musical influences. My pandora stations tell it all. I have everything from Beyonce, to  Rent, to Gospel, to Pink. Some of my favorite artists include Beyonce, Lauryn Hill, India Arie, Chrisette Michelle, and more.  These artists are so amazing because they make music that not only makes you feel good, but has a significant meaning. There’s nothing like a song that touches your emotions and pulls on your heart strings. Well, if I don’t stop now I could go on forever. That’s how important music is to me. But that’s all I have for today. If you like to know more about my musical experiences or music in general feel free to comment. Thanks for reading.

With love,

Abisola

Married But Single

The concept “married but single” has been something that I have wanted to discuss for quite some time now. The phrase however came to me when one of my favorite artists, Chrisette Michele stated that she is in a play with the title “Married But Single”. Now, I have not seen the play so I don’t know the plot. Nonetheless, I thought of the phrase and began to analyze what that truly means. On a side note, I plan to write a song about this concept. So here we go, let’s dive in. Now I try to make this blog gender neutral. However, I plan to gear this post towards my ladies, especially my single ones. Guys, take some notes. My mother always said something very wise to my sister and I. She always said “Never make your boyfriend a husband, and vice versa”. I never really understood what that meant: A) because I am translating it from Yoruba and B) I was too young. Now that I’m older and thankfully wiser, I get the saying completely. Ladies, if your not the wifey, don’t act like it. So many women out there put themselves into scenarios where they are portraying a wife figure. Now, its good to impress your man. There’s nothing wrong with that. But, I am talking about the women out there that are doing the most for guys that have no commitment to them. I’m gonna be so real with ya’ll today. I know so many young girls out there that are on their best behavior for a man that won’t commit. I have had friends that did so much for a guy even before he said that they liked them. For example, I had a friend who would always make her crush’s lunch, do his homework, and be his personal guidance counselor. She wasn’t even his girlfriend. Did they eventually start dating. Yes! But the point is he used her for so long without ever making his move to be in a relationship. To all my single girls out there, let the guy impress you. Please don’t go out of your way for a guy unless your in a serious relationship. I’ve mentioned this in other posts but a guy that wants you will pursue you. If they don’t want you they will be perfectly fine with using you and letting you spoil them. This goes for physical boundaries. This generation is so caught up with notions like  “friends with benefits” and “hooking up”. No!No!No! I’m not a prude, but I’m definitely not up for that. When you respect your body, a guy will appreciate you more. One mantra that I firmly believe in is the one that says “why buy the cow if you can get the milk for free”. In other words, if you are giving yourself physically to a guy without commitment, then they will most likely never commit. What’s the use of committing to someone, if you can get the perks without it. Personally, as a Christian I believe that it is so important to honor my body. I believe that my body is the temple of the almighty God. Therefore, I have decided to abstain from sex, until I am married. Now, I’m not saying that every one should do this because that’s a personal choice. What I am saying is that as women we should respect and honor our bodies. Also, you should understand the intensity and consequences of physicality in a relationship before you jump into it. Sex is a big deal that is so downplayed in today’s society. When you make that significant an investment physically, you are opening the door to emotional and even spiritual sacrifice. Also, having sex with a guy does not mean that they will commit. In fact, doing that might make them leave you because they have gotten all that they wanted from the relationship. It’s a tough world out there in the dating life. But like Beyonce says “If you like it, then you should have put a ring on it”. The moral of the story is don’t be married when you’re singe. I hope you enjoyed this post. Feel free to comment. Thank you for reading.

Sincerely,

Abisola

Change of Plans

If everything in life went as planned life would be so much easier. Unfortunately, that is not the case. Life is so unpredictable.  That’s the thing that makes it beautiful. In the last post I talked about my new job at Taco Bell. Who would have known that within a week, I would be done with that job. I decided to resign because of the workload of my academics. I would have never thought that I would stop so early. That was not in my agenda. Continually my life changed drastically last year. I attended the International Baccalaureate program up until my junior year. I went through a rough past that was completely unexpected and out of my characte. Stress and illness lead me to leave the rigorous school. However, who would have known that it would have been the best decision for my life. I now attend a school that not only challeges me in a moderate way, bit allows me to have free time and college credits. I never planned that detour in my academic career. But for every door that closes another one opens. You just have to go with the flow.  Even the college that I chose wad out of plan. It definitely wasn’t my first choice. Nonetheless it ended up being the best choice. So what do you do when things don’t go as planned. Well fist things first don’t stress out. I know it’s easier said than done. But when you freak out it only makes matters worse. Worrying doesn’t change anything. Hence the phrase “don’t cry over spilled milk “. It’s so true. Next when things go out of plan resort to plan B. Everyone should always have a plan B. Thank God I applied to several different colleges. I was able to have a backup plan for my backup plan. Haha. Thirdly, it’s important to pray for guidance. Prayer and spirituality is always my advice for difficult situations. When you ask God to do his will you realize that the detour in your life was actually apart of God’s plan for you. It’s not always the easiest thing to do but it’s the best thing for you. We’ll that’s all I have for today. I hope I was able to help someone.

Sincerely,

Abisola

 

 

A New Chapter

2016 is a big year for me. This is the year that I will be completing high school and going to college. Its going to be  a new chapter for me. I am pleased to announce that  I will be going to the University of Central Florida. I will be a knight! I am happy with my decision. I realized that when God wants something for you he will make everything work out in accordance to his plan. UCF was definitely God’s will for me. It is only 1 hour away from my house. It is in Orlando. Yep, the city of Disney World, Universal Studios, and Sea World. I will be studying journalism. It is all so exciting for me. I am looking forward to a fresh start. Its important in life to get a change of setting every now and then. That’s why college is so crucial for me. I am most looking forward to the independence. I am a legal adult now, and living by myself (with a roommate) is a quintessential way to start my chapter into adulthood. I am also looking forward to making new friends. I love meeting new people and they say that you make your closest friends in college. Hopefully, that will happen for me. I also plan on immersing myself into various clubs and organizations. I want to join the African Student Association, maybe a theater club, and the gospel choir. I know that UCF offers a plethora of organizations (over 400) and I will probably join more than those three that I mentioned. Also, I hope you guys pray for me. I really want to have a good room mate. Plus, since high school didn’t prove good for romantic relationships, I’m definitely open for the possibility of dating. I know that there will definitely be a wide variety of people compared to my high school classmates. UCF has the second largest campus in the nation. So, there is such a great opportunity to build all sorts of relationships. When it comes to food, I will be getting a meal plan. Hopefully, there will be a wide variety of food for me to choose from. Who knows, maybe next year I’ll cook. Furthermore, I am thinking of potentially minoring in Spanish. I took 5 years of  Spanish. I am still contemplating this decision. However, I believe that being bilingual will be a good addition to add to my resume. On a side note, I have also begun to work. I currently work at Taco Bell. I know its fast food, and nothing really serious. Nonetheless, I am trying to save up as much money as possible for college. The whole process was somewhat stressful. Applying, SAT/ACTs/scholarship applications were all pretty dismal.I am so glad that I now have a clear idea of where I am going and what I’m going to do with my life. Its definitely a huge relief.

Continually, I will continue writing my book. I am currently on chapter 4. I will be writing chapter 5 some time soon. I don’t know how long the book will be. However, it is such a thrilling experience writing. I hope my book teaches a lesson. I want people to be able to connect to the characters and gain something from my book. I am still figuring out who will publish it. Despite this, as soon I find out the details of my publishing, I will let you all know. I’m going to end on this note. If you are ever feeling in a rut, just know that you too can start a new chapter. Try a new system of life. Try a new system of organization. Try applying for a new job. Its never too late to start over. Sometimes starting over is the best possible thing you can do for your life. Well that’s all I have for today. Thanks for reading.

With Love,

Abisola

Destination Inspiration

There comes a time in every person’s life in which they lose inspiration. We all at one point or the other have lost motivation when it  comes to school, work, or relationships. How do you prevent going on into the same boring routine of every day life? How do you make your life fresh and exciting? How do you become motivated to complete new goals? Well for starters, inspiration can be found any where. For example, I am inspired to write the blog posts topics from situations going on in my life. I am currently going through a phase in which I am getting bored in the every day routine of my life. I wanted to investigate further on ways in which I can stay inspired and motivated in my life. That’s why I decided to write this post. The majority of the posts I write speak to me on a personal level. When I write I often give myself the advice that I write about. Therefore, you can find inspiration from the events that are happening in your life. If you are trying to write a paper or trying to do something creative think about what is happening in your life and apply it there. For instance, I am currently writing a novel. The characters in the book remind me of people that I know personally. In fact, the protagonist of the book has  a very similar personality to mine. I used my personal experiences to create a character. That is just a prime example of using your personal life creatively. Another way to find inspiration is to look at your surroundings. This is similar to using your personal life experiences. However, with your surroundings you have to be more objective. If you are a designer trying to make a new fashion collection, you can find your muse from nature. For example, as a designer, you might be able to use the changing leaf colors during fall as part of  your collection. If you are a student and are doing a project on a topic of your choice, for example a sociology project you could do it on the issues affecting your community. Its as simple as that.  Continually, inspiration can come from the media in which you let into your life. What you watch, and what you listen to can all impact what your inspired by. Media can be the gateway to your soul. I know that sounds really deep but its true. That’s why they say its important to be cautious about what you watch. Movies are a great way to be inspired. One of my favorite romantic movies is called “About Time”. This film inspired me to be more cautious about my time here on earth. It taught me to embrace every moment in life.  You never know when your last moment will be thus we must cherish every moment. Furthermore, it taught me that whats meant to be will be. You can’t change your fate, you can only hope for a better future. When it comes to music, I am inspired by soulful songs and artists. As I’ve mentioned in earlier posts I am a huge Lauryn Hill fan. Her music caters to your emotions. Every song has a significant meaning and embodies a theme. Her 90s style is just something that is not often seen in todays music. Listening to quality music is something that can inspire you to be a better person if you allow it. That is why there is a correlation between aggressive music and aggressive behavior. Music can really influence and shape your character. So listen to music with a message and you will definitely see a difference in your inspiration level. Lastly, inspiration is God-given trait. When you put an effort into building your spiritual life you will see a major change in your inspiration level. God will grant you so many creative ideas if you allow yourself to grow in him. When you have a higher purpose in your life,  inspiration will come naturally. Its just apart of the process. I recommend that you build a spiritual life if you are in an inspirational rut. It will allow you to grow. Well that’s all I have for today. I hope you found some inspiration with this post. Feel free to comment. Thanks for reading.

Stay Fabulous,

Abisola

 

 

The Real Abisola

I decided to a post that was kind of different today. If you read this blog, you are aware that its all about things that I find pertinent in my life. After all its called Abisola Blog. Abisola being me. (Abby-saw-lah). So in order for you to get to know me,I decided to do a personal update in question and answer form.

  1. What is my name?: My name is Abisola Adeyemo. Pronounced (Abby-saw-lah) It is a Nigerian name meaning “born into wealth”. That leads me to my second question:
  2.  Where are you from? : Well, I was born in Canada. However I am of Nigerian descent. My mom and dad are Nigerian. However, I live in a small town in Central Florida called Lakeland.
  3. Do you have any siblings?: Yes I have a wonderful older sister.
  4. What grade are you in? : I am a senior in high school.
  5.  Where are you going for college? : I have gotten accepted into a couple of schools in Florida. However, I’m still waiting on others to make a decision.
  6. What do you want to major in? I want to major in journalism or at least some form of communications studies.
  7. What career path do you intend on pursuing? My goal is to be a reporter. I want to be an anchor. I particularly would love to focus on entertainment journalism. If I don’t become an anchor , I’d like to write for a major magazine such as Essence. Despite my journalism pursuits, I have always dreamed about being a singer. However, I want to be realistic. That leads me to my next question.
  8. What are some of your hobbies? Well, for starters I love to sing. I have been in numerous choirs through out my life. Songwriting is definitely one of my major hobbies. Apart from music, I am really into writing.(obviously) I am currently writing a novel called Afrocentric. I won’t tell you what its about because its not copy writed yet but just know that its a good one. Whenever its is complete and I have it published, I will let you all know more about it. I  am also an avid runner. I played three sports in high school. I played soccer, cross country and track. Fitness is a huge part of my life. I have even considered potentially becoming a personal trainer on the side. Continually, I love acting. I have been in numerous theatrical shows. One of my most noted roles was playing Aida in my school’s musical production of Aida.
  9. What type of music do you listen to?: I listen to a wide variety of music. My music preference ranges from R&B, hip hop, jazz, pop, musical music, to contemporary rock, and some (very limited) country. If you get to know me you know that my favorite artist is Beyonce. I went to my first concert at her 2013 Mrs. Carter World Tour. Beside Beyonce, I have a deep love for Lauryn Hill. In my head, if they ever made a Lauryn Hill biopic, I would just HAVE to play her. She has inspired me so much. The Miss Education of Lauryn Hill is one of my favorite albums. I also like artists such as Erykah Badu, Chrisette Michelle, and Natasha Bedingfield.
  10. Are you in a relationship?: Nope. I have never been in a serious, committed relationship before. I am only 18 years old, so I feel like I have time. Plus, the majority of high school relationships I see don’t really last.Therefore, I’m hoping that I find my match in college.
  11.  How would you describe yourself?: I would describe myself as an ambivert?: I am neither an extrovert or an introvert. I am a mix of both. I love meeting new people and talking. However, I find it difficult to make close friends. Maybe its because I have slight trust issues. Furthermore, sometimes I like to keep to myself and just have me time. I’m a balance of both. Contradictingly, I would also describe myself as bubbly. I am generally a very happy person. I smile alot. Likewise, I am a very sassy person. I am  very blunt and say things as it is. I find it very hard to sugar coat things.
  12. What religion do you practice?: I am a Christian. I like to say that I don’t have a religion. Christianity for me is a lifestyle.
  13. What are some things on your bucket list. My #1 is sky diving. Then, I’d like to travel the world, go mountain climbing, write a book, and get hot pink highlights.

I hope this post gave you a little bit of insight on who I am as a person. If you have any more questions, just feel free to comment. Thanks for reading.

Yours Truly,

Abisola

 

International Women’s Day

If you read my blog post called “Coming of Age”, you know that I recently turned 18. Yes, I’m finally legal! This birthday was one a major step in my journey to womanhood. I am officially an adult. I also discussed some of the people who have influenced my journey into womanhood. Tomorrow is International Women’s Day. Most people don’t know this. That is why I want to bring awareness to the day. The purpose of International Women’s Day is to celebrate the social, cultural and political achievements of women. Despite the major contributions to society, women are still undermined in this world. Though we have made significant improvements to the way women are viewed in this world, there are still major discrepancies in women’s rights. To begin with, in some states women are still paid less than male counterparts in the work field. This is extremely concerning to me as a woman who is planning to enter the work force in a couple of years. On a side note, I will be beginning a job at Taco Bell tomorrow. I would be extremely upset if I were underpaid due to my sex. Continually, there are numerous women’s rights issues and lack of representation in the political arena. If it wasn’t for Hillary Clinton, there probably would not be a female political candidate for the 2016 elections.
With this in mind I pride myself as a feminist.Now feminism has gotten a bad rep in the media. People often perceive feminists as angry woman ranting about insignificant gender discrepancies. However, if you look at the definition of a feminist, you will see that a feminist is simply someone who wants equal rights for both men and women. That doesn’t sound so bad does it? When Beyonce released the song “Run the World”, that was my feminist anthem. Basically the song is about how women run the world. I hate to be biased, but I believe this is so true. Women are the backbone of society. Women are mothers. In the song it says “Strong enough to bear them children, and get back to business.” So many women have to balance a career along with their roles as mothers. That’s a hard thing to do. Furthermore, women can literally do anything a man can do and most likely do it better. One of my favorite Whitney Houston quotes says “I like being a woman, even in a man’s world. After all, men can’t wear dresses, but we can wear the pants”. I thought that was an extremely clever way of expressing how important it is for women to know that they can be in charge of their lives. Women and men should be viewed as equals in society. That is why I am so proud of First Lady Michelle Obama. She made the initiative to talk to girls about the significance of an education. She basically stated that before you get involved with boys you should get a good education. For all my ladies out there take notes from Mrs. Obama. Never compromise your education for a man. They are not worth the struggle. To all my male readers, no shade intended. Nonetheless, if you are a male reading this make sure to know that you treat women with the utmost respect. That’s basically why I’m writing this. I believe that as woman we need to be appreciated, not just on International Women’s Day but every day. There are so many woman out there that are seriously killing the game. From your Beyonces to your Michelles there are woman out there that are inspiring me to achieve higher and accomplish my dreams. I love being a woman and I am proud to be a woman. Don’t believe the stereotypes. We are not all weak vessels. We are strong. Its crucial that we empower each other. The more we are empowered, the more progress we will have when it comes to our rights. We are all so special, unique and beautiful in our own way. Take time to appreciate the women in your life. Have a wonderful Women’s Day. Thanks for reading.
.Rosie the Riveter   womens day

Sincerely,
Abisola

No Scrubs

“A scrub is a guy that thinks he’s fly, also known as a busta. Always talking bout what he wants but sits on his broke a**.” – TLC No Scrubs. This beginning line from the popular 1999 TLC single defines what a “scrub” is. Basically, a scrub is a guy who is an unproductive member of society. He’s “hanging out the passenger side of his best friend’s ride, trying to holler at [you]”. I’m sure many women have experienced this before. The guy that tries to get at you with cheesy pick up lines and a tasteless appearance. I know I have. From phrases like “hey there pretty girl” to ambiguous ones like “yo girl, my friend likes you”. Its pretty pathetic. The sad thing is that many women out there settle for this kind of treatment. Instead of ignoring the “scrubs” they succumb themselves to these kinds of relationships. Many woman fall victim of the common scrub. The most prominent relationships that alot of woman get involved with are the subtle scrubs. These are the men that appear to be good candidates for relationships. However, they are the ones that start making small actions that are questionable. Maybe its bailing out on your dinner plans. Maybe its borrowing money from you. Maybe its as serious as cheating on you. These types of behavior are unacceptable. The quote from the Perks of Being a Wall Flower sums up what I am trying to say. “We accept the love that we think we deserve.” This is absolutely true. If you think poorly of yourself, you will most likely end up with a scrub. If you have high self-esteem, then you will most likely end up with someone good. You are fearfully and wonderfully made. Don’t settle for the scrub. A scrub can only delay you from your goals. You need someone that is going to motivate you to reaching and accomplishing your goals in life.

So how can you prevent yourself from getting with a scrub? Well, first things first is to see how he pursues you. A guy who is serious about you will not approach you with lines such as “Hey, pink shirt” or “Damn, baby”. (I have gotten both of those before). Nonetheless, the way that they approach you does not have to be as extreme as that for them to prove as a scrub. If they are not actively pursuing you that is a major sign. If you are the one that continues to initiate conversations and dates that is a cue to back away. Men are natural hunters. If they want you they will pursue you. If you are the one initiating everything , (except for the physical), they most likely are trying to use you. Don’t fall for the trap. One lesson that I have learned from watching cheesy shows like “The Bachelor” is that if a man wants to say that he loves you, he will. Don’t make excuses for him. Don’t rely on what you assume. A man that cares for you, will be extremely open to sharing his affection for you.
The next clue to prevent you from staying with a scrub A.K.A. (f**ck boys) is to see how he treats you amongst other people. If he is extremely concerned with P.D.A. he most likely has other intentions for you. Most guys who are genuine will not be ashamed of other people seeing you together. Also, see how he talks about you with his friends. If his friends don’t even know about you, that is a major indicator that you are not a serious part of his life. The next indicator to prevent you from getting in a relationship with a scrub is to see what their motives are. If they are only calling you late at night to see you, then sorry in the most lame man terms, you are just a booty call. If your conversations are mainly dealing with the physical aspects of the relationship, you are not a serious entity in his life. Its plain and simple.

So who are the good guys out there. The anti-scrub or good guy is one that actively pursues you. He is the one who is not ashamed to say that he has strong feelings for you. He is the kind of guy that introduces you to his friends and family. He is the guy that is not ashamed of P.D.A..He is also the one that respects your body, and does not center the relationship on physical terms. Well I hope I gave you some insight. #NOSCRUBS2016 is my motto. Thanks for reading.

With love,
Abisola