No Scrubs

“A scrub is a guy that thinks he’s fly, also known as a busta. Always talking bout what he wants but sits on his broke a**.” – TLC No Scrubs. This beginning line from the popular 1999 TLC single defines what a “scrub” is. Basically, a scrub is a guy who is an unproductive member of society. He’s “hanging out the passenger side of his best friend’s ride, trying to holler at [you]”. I’m sure many women have experienced this before. The guy that tries to get at you with cheesy pick up lines and a tasteless appearance. I know I have. From phrases like “hey there pretty girl” to ambiguous ones like “yo girl, my friend likes you”. Its pretty pathetic. The sad thing is that many women out there settle for this kind of treatment. Instead of ignoring the “scrubs” they succumb themselves to these kinds of relationships. Many woman fall victim of the common scrub. The most prominent relationships that alot of woman get involved with are the subtle scrubs. These are the men that appear to be good candidates for relationships. However, they are the ones that start making small actions that are questionable. Maybe its bailing out on your dinner plans. Maybe its borrowing money from you. Maybe its as serious as cheating on you. These types of behavior are unacceptable. The quote from the Perks of Being a Wall Flower sums up what I am trying to say. “We accept the love that we think we deserve.” This is absolutely true. If you think poorly of yourself, you will most likely end up with a scrub. If you have high self-esteem, then you will most likely end up with someone good. You are fearfully and wonderfully made. Don’t settle for the scrub. A scrub can only delay you from your goals. You need someone that is going to motivate you to reaching and accomplishing your goals in life.

So how can you prevent yourself from getting with a scrub? Well, first things first is to see how he pursues you. A guy who is serious about you will not approach you with lines such as “Hey, pink shirt” or “Damn, baby”. (I have gotten both of those before). Nonetheless, the way that they approach you does not have to be as extreme as that for them to prove as a scrub. If they are not actively pursuing you that is a major sign. If you are the one that continues to initiate conversations and dates that is a cue to back away. Men are natural hunters. If they want you they will pursue you. If you are the one initiating everything , (except for the physical), they most likely are trying to use you. Don’t fall for the trap. One lesson that I have learned from watching cheesy shows like “The Bachelor” is that if a man wants to say that he loves you, he will. Don’t make excuses for him. Don’t rely on what you assume. A man that cares for you, will be extremely open to sharing his affection for you.
The next clue to prevent you from staying with a scrub A.K.A. (f**ck boys) is to see how he treats you amongst other people. If he is extremely concerned with P.D.A. he most likely has other intentions for you. Most guys who are genuine will not be ashamed of other people seeing you together. Also, see how he talks about you with his friends. If his friends don’t even know about you, that is a major indicator that you are not a serious part of his life. The next indicator to prevent you from getting in a relationship with a scrub is to see what their motives are. If they are only calling you late at night to see you, then sorry in the most lame man terms, you are just a booty call. If your conversations are mainly dealing with the physical aspects of the relationship, you are not a serious entity in his life. Its plain and simple.

So who are the good guys out there. The anti-scrub or good guy is one that actively pursues you. He is the one who is not ashamed to say that he has strong feelings for you. He is the kind of guy that introduces you to his friends and family. He is the guy that is not ashamed of P.D.A..He is also the one that respects your body, and does not center the relationship on physical terms. Well I hope I gave you some insight. #NOSCRUBS2016 is my motto. Thanks for reading.

With love,
Abisola