That Thing

I’ve mentioned this numerous times before, but one of my favorite artists is Lauryn Hill. One of her most prominent songs is called “Doo Wop (That Thing). This song is probably one of the first songs I ever heard from her. It is a testament of different social and relationship issues that women and men encounter. The song starts of with ” It’s been three weeks since you were looking for your friend. The one you let him hit and never called you again”.  From that line alone you can tell that Ms. Hill is spitting the truth. How many girls out there have been in a  relationship in which they give themselves physically and a guy does not reciprocate the love?  The answer is a lot of girls. One of my favorite quotes from the movie, “The Perks of Being A Wild Flower” is “We accept the love we think we deserve”.  That’s why there are girls out there who can’t even get a call back from a guy they gave themselves too.

So what exactly is “that thing?”That thing means the physical, emotional, and spiritual assets that a man or a woman is using you for. The chorus of the song goes “Girls, you know you better watch out, some guys some guys are only about, that thing, that thing, that thing,”. Lauryn is warning us about falling into relationships with users. The song also says the same thing for guys to. This is a co-gender blog so for my male viewers don’t feel left out. There are some girls out there that just want to use you. Recently, I was asked out by a random stranger. I gave him my number but did not respond to his texts. Basically, I felt as though he was one of those guys that Lauryn was talking about. The context of us meeting, and the context of his living situation made me be cautious.  He was most likely trying to use me for “that thing” or my physically goodies if I can be candid with you all. There are so many girls out there who fall into relationships with guys who don’t truly care about them. That is why it is so critical to set standards for yourselves.

When I was at FCA (Fellowship of Christian Athletes.) this week, one of the girls speaking was about relationships. She told us how she saw a meme on twitter about a teenage girl asking her mother if she could date a boy.  The mother’s response was this. “Read 1 Corinthians 13:4-8.” For those of you who don’t know what that scripture is it is the one that describes what love is. Then the mother told the girl to replace the word Love with the boys name. For example: “John is patient, John is kind”.  She told the girl that if the guy does not fit into all of those qualities, then he is not worth dating. I thought that was an extremely clever thing to do. I will definitely do that for the relationships I get into.

Ms. Hill also describes the definition of a scrub. Well not exactly using the word scrub, (You should read my post called “No Scrubs”) but basically a deadbeat guy. Here’s how it goes. “The second verse is dedicated to the men, more concerned with his rims and his timbs than his women…still in their mothers basement..they face court case when the child support late…quick to shoot the semen stop acting like boys and be men” That verse is one of my favorite. We all know of that one guy who is unemployed, still lives with his mother, yet has the audacity to procreate. This is something that women should be aware of. Don’t fall for these guys, it will only create more problems in the future. Ladies, get you a man that has ambitions, goals, and future prospects.

Now, I feel like I’ve been dogging the guys for a long time in this post. So now let’s get to the ladies. Lauryn basically warns guys of those fast easy girls out there. The ones that “show, there a** cause they think its a trend.” She warns “don’t be a hard rock, when you really are a gem”. This is so wise. Ladies, don’t be so eager to give up your bodies. While I hate this saying “modest is the hottest”. When you respect your body, a man will too. Don’t put up a facade. Be authentic with yourself. Well that’s all I have for today.  Thanks for reading. I will put the video down below.

With Love,

Abisola