Anger Management

There is no one out there in this world who has not experienced anger. From toddlers, we are faced with “temper tantrums” or bursts of anger in which we fling our bodies around, whine, scream, and cry in order to get what we want. Anger is an innate emotion. When someone mistreats us, we often resort to anger. If life is not going the way we want it to go, we are angered. Anger is one of the worst ways of dealing with a situation. It is the opposite of love and patience, the things that we should thrive for as civilized human beings. On a biblical standpoint, anger only leads to destruction. For example, Moses’ anger issue did not let him see the promise land. Even God’s “anger” towards the world led to the entire destruction of the world by means of a flood. When you allow anger to harbor in your heart, you are only creating a detriment to your heart. Its simple as this. Anger is like a weed in a garden. At first it appears harmless. But then as you let it grow, it ends up destroying the other plants and taking up the entire plant population in the garden.  In the past, as an adolescent I went through an angry phase. I was mad at the world, for what could have partly been hormones or for what could have been my circumstances. I would lash out easily, and store hatred for others. Yes, the so-called bubbly Abby had a hate list. One summer, my mom decided to send me to New York to stay with my grandma. I was only 11 years old at the time. As an effort to deal with my anger issues, I decided to write down every one that I hated. I wrote down the reason that I detested them and I felt so much better. Then, I decided that anger and hatred would not do anything beneficial for my life. I realized that God calls for us to love our neighbors as our selves. With this in mind, I decided to burn the list. I used my grandma’ gas stove and all of the hatred went into a fiery bliss of ashes. This metaphorical yet physical action was so therapeutic for me. It felt like a wave of peace was upon me. I was finally free from the burden of anger. Now, its not like I don’t get angry any more. I now know how to deal with my anger.

So here are so tips to deal with your anger.

  1. Assess why or who you are angry with. The first step to recovery is acknowledging the problem. Maybe someone has been repeatedly rude to you. Maybe your parents let you down. Whatever, the situation is determine what is triggering your anger.
  2. Decide to forgive. Resentment never solves the problem. Holding a grudge only makes you more miserable. Forgiveness is difficult but it will be a load off your chest once you forgive. Hatred and anger consumes so much of your time. Forgiveness allows you to think of the positive. My notion is if God can forgive, then you should be able to do so as well.
  3.  Find a coping mechanism. For me, I  coped by writing down what made me feel bad. Exercising is another way to release your anger. Having a sweat session releases endorphins and allows you to release any sense of physicality that may have been stored due to anger. Your coping mechanism may be talking to someone on the phone or watching  a funny television show. On an episode of  the show “Fresh Off the Boat”, one of the little boys said that he has a scream jar to prevent him from lashing out. Basically, every time he feels like he is about to have an anger meltdown he gets a jar and screams into it. This way, all the negative energy and screaming goes into the jar, not on other people. Find what works for you and stick to it.
  4.  Seek spiritual counseling. When you are connected to a higher power, your sense of purpose shifts. You are less likely, to sweat the small stuff and focus on what is really important to you. Prayer, meditation, and fellowship are all ways in which your spirituality can assist you with your anger.  Well that’ s all I have for today. I hope I helped some of you deal with your anger. Thanks for reading.

With Love,

Abisola