The College Experience

Hey guys,

My life has been going in such a positive direction lately. I may do a life update in the next coming weeks. For those of you who don’t know, I will be graduating high school next week. I am absolutely thrilled. I will be going to college at the University of Central Florida. With this in mind, I wanted to give a nice glimpse into the college experience from one of my close friends(She’s like a sister to me), Casssondra Angu (A.K.A. Cassie) Cassie recently graduated with a bachelor’s degree in Telecommunications from the prestigious University of Florida. She was also on the pre-med track. I had the pleasure of speaking to her about her college experience. Here’s what went down:

 

Cassie Graduation

  1. How would you describe your college experience?: “Necessary. If I could use one word, very necessary-integral to my growth. I needed to go to college so I can figure out who I am and figure out a lot of different things. You learn so many things in college.”
  2.  What would you advise your freshmen self about college?: ” Work harder. Don’t sweat the small stuff. Let every closed door lead you to your actual destiny. Really focus. Enjoy it and have a really good time. Don’t stress about the future so much.”
  3.  What was your greatest challenge in college?: “Passing my pre-med classes. (Laughs) Aside from that honestly, giving myself the grace to fail. You have to let yourself fail a few times in college and learn how to go through those things. If you give yourself the chance to fail, you learn so much, instead of trying to fight it.”
  4. What are some study tips and strategies that helped you in college?: Work hard. Treat every class as if it is the hardest class you’ve ever taken. Even if it is not. Always strive for excellence. Also, its okay to skip class to study.”
  5. What would you describe as the biggest difference between high school and college?:”Everything. The only similarity is that you learn and that there’s friends there. You schedule your own classes. You wake up. You have to cook. There’s no free lunch. There’s a lot of things that are put in your own hands in college. And honestly, the material you learn in high school really doesn’t affect your life or future the way that college material does. It definitely prepares you for your life.”
  6. If you could change one thing about your college experience what would it be?: ” I would change the fact that I was not open to fail. Your still going to have challenges, whether its small scale or large scale. Fighting it made it even harder. I was still trying to be a perfectionist.”
  7. What are some things you were involved with extracurricularly in college? Was it difficult to balance it with your academics? “Yes, because I also worked a job. I did a lot of quality not quantity. I worked for a radio station for a while doing like medical journalism type stuff. Then I wrote for a health magazine, which I loved. I did volunteering with palliative medicine with teenagers. And I sang in the gospel choir, and other little things with my church.”
  8. For the girls out there, what is the dating scene like in college in comparison to high school?: It depends for everybody, because some people go to college and they really do find  (I won’t say their man forever) but they do find a man. There’s a lot of foolishness in college, people trying to have a good time. Then there are people who are serious. It’s kind of like, pick of the draw, you never know who you’re going to get. Whereas in high school, there’s a lot more proximity with boys. But in college, you can be with someone that you never heard of, or met. My first boyfriend, I knew him very well. I knew him for 4 years. So it wasn’t like a shock for the type of person he was. But in college,  you can meet someone and they can be a scammer, you never know. But I’ve had some good situationships, so….”
  9.  How can you live on a budget in college and what are some ways to live frugally?:  “Don’t buy designer clothes, obviously. Shop on sale. Don’t buy full price. Make a budget. Just pay attention to your spending and look at your account frequently. Have a limit for all the things that you buy. Like for me, I won’t spend more than $50 at a time, at the grocery store. Also knowing how many times you can eat out a week. Because you’re going to feel invincible, then you’ll be looking at your bank statement like, “dang” this is all food…”
  10. How do you deal with your newfound independence? Do you get homesick?: I never got homesick in college. Lakeland is not really…I was homesick sometimes, but more so for my friends. Like not to live at home. Some people go wild. I was just so excited to do whatever I want, but not in a bad way. I would stay out till 4 in the morning, but it would be cool.
  11.  How did you avoid the freshmen 15?:” Exercise everyday. Sometimes you get it, but not freshman year. Like, I feel like I gained 15 pounds, sophomore year. When I was stressed and really sad and stuff. Just work out every day. College is great because it has so many options. So go for what you like.”
  12. How do you make new friends in college? And is it difficult?: You make new friends by being where freshmen are. And being open and friendly. Don’t be closed off. Don’t think you’re too good for anybody. Don’t be afraid to approach someone because they’re different than you. Sit in your student union, if that’s where most freshmen are. Go to events that are freshmen based. Be talkative in your classroom. Be nice to everyone you meet.
  13.  What are a few lessons you learned from college?: “Love yourself above all. Don’t compare yourself to anyone else. Don’t like someone, just cause they like you. Failure is ok, and its not the end of the world. You’re not a failure if you fail. Don’t wait till the last minute to study for an exam. Take advantage of all the tutoring options you have. If he tells you he’s an F-boy, he’s an F-boy.”
  14. What are some of your favorite memories in college?: ” My 21st birthday in Miami. A lot of it was. I went to a church conference in Atlanta with my friends. And dancing. I’m always dancing .Whenever there’s dancing, it’s always a good time.
  15. What’s next for you?: Following the will of God for my life and listening to his voice. Probably medical school or going to get my masters.”

I know it was a long one today. But thanks for reading. I hope you enjoyed this interview. Feel free to comment. Also make sure to check out Cassie’s blog. It is

stylemdblog.wordpress.com

Stay Fabulous,

Abisola

Skincare 101

So I decided to do something different today. For those of you who read my blog, you know that I talk about a montage of topics. However,  this is not a beauty blog and therefore I have not discussed beauty related topics. Well, I’ve been thinking of new creative ideas to make the blog more interesting so I thought, why not divulge into the beauty world. As you can see from the heading I’m going to be talking all about skincare. Your skin is meant to last your entire life so it’s so critical to take good care of it. Fortunately, I’m young so my skin is in its prime but I have been trying to take steps to ensure that I age well and maintain my exceptionally good looks. (Just kidding, but you get the gist.)

With this in mind, I will share a brief history of my skin. For starters, I am an African American woman. I would consider myself on the “medium-dark” side. My mother looks extremely good for her age. Now maybe the fact that we are black may contribute to the good aging(Black don’t crack, haha) but I have seen her take good care of her skin. So back to me. My face has always been pretty oily, especially around my t-zones. So when puberty hit, I developed mild acne. What really helped me was using products that contain benozyl peroxide and salicylic acid. Those ingredients go deep in your pores and basically dry up the zit. Also when I began drinking more water, I noticed a significant difference. On another note, the fact that I stopped puberty probably also contributed to my improved skin condition. Recently, I have noticed that my skin is in the best condition it has ever been. I have been getting compliments on how smooth my skin is.  It’s been a long way to get to this point. Here’s a picture of me without make up for example.

Skin Care 101

So what’s my secret. Well

  1. Eat and drink clean. What does eating clean mean? Well, eating foods that are not processed and that are natural. Your skin is impacted by what you put in your body just like your weight. Your skin needs essential nutrients to function properly. When you eat a diet that is rich in fruits and vegetables you will see a major difference in the quality of your skin. Also, I drink a lot of water. I mean 8-10 glasses every day. Drinking water, hydrates your skin. It is also shown to make your skin less dull, and reduce the appearance of wrinkles and pores.
  2. Moisturize. Even though my skin is naturally oily, I have found that when I don’t put on lotion it leaves my skin feeling dry and cracked. For some of my Caucasian viewers, putting on lotion may not be apart of your daily routine. But trust me, when you put on lotion you are nourishing your skin. It will definitely make a difference in your overall appearance. Overly dry skin, just like oil can also cause acne. It is also important to put on SPF. No matter what your skin tone is, you have a risk of getting skin cancer. Therefore, prevention is key.
  3. Exfoliate. Now this is something I need to work on more. Exfoliating is taking the dead skin cells from your skin by using either an a grainy texture scrub or other means. Other means being using a mechanical face brush. So what are the benefits of exfoliation? It improves skin’s texture,  prevents aging, prevents breakouts, and  improves skin tone. It makes sense right? You are basically going out with the old (skin cells) and unleashing the new.
  4. Wash your face morning and night. Believe it or not, throughout the day our skin can get pretty dirty. With dirt, oil, and make up our skin collects guck throughout the day. That’s why it is essential to wash your make up before you go to bed. I have had instances where I was too lazy to wash my make up off, and I ended up with a huge pimple. That’s not pretty. Even if you don’t wear makeup, establishing a routine of washing your face in the morning and night will give you such an improvement in your overall face quality.

I’m no skincare expert by any means but I do know a few things. If you would like me to do more skincare/beauty blogs please feel free to comment. I hope you enjoyed this and I it was helpful.

Stay beautiful,

Abisola

 

Swallow Your Pride

As a Christian, I have heard the phrase “Pride leads to destruction”, a plethora of times in my life. One of the the tenets of Christianity is to be humble. Humility is the exact opposite of pride. When you are prideful, there is an eminent lack of respect from your peers and your colleagues. There is however, a difference between positive pride and negative pride. I will now go into detail describing the two.

  1. Negative Pride- This is the kind of behavior that is seen as obnoxious and arrogant. You have probably encountered these sort of individuals at one point or the other in your life. You know the type. They are boastful, and feel too highly of themselves. This sense of inherent dignity makes them feel as though they are exceptionally privileged. These are the type of workers who lash out on customers who ask them simple questions. It is the type of person who is rude to people they feel are “beneath” them. Pride is simply the false sense of elitism based on social class, accolades, appearance, or some other asset.  Prideful people often don’t take time to enjoy life to the fullest because  they are too busy being haughty. For example, there was a girl that I went to high school with who said she would never shop at Plato’s closet. (Plato’s closet is a gently used consignment shop for teens and young adults). She said she felt that wearing other people’s old clothes was dirty and humiliating. With that kind of attitude, she could have missed out on some pretty cute clothing for cheap prices. When you are prideful, you put yourself in a box. It is like tunnel vision, you only see what is in front of you.  Unfortunately, through out the years I have felt like I have been misunderstood. In middle school I was teased unfortunately, by the other black students for “acting white”. They said that I was acting “bougie”. At the time, I didn’t know what the phrase “bougie” meant. But I soon realized that “bougie” means fancy, aristocratic, uppity, and in other words prideful. The other black students referred to me as this because I spoke in regular English vernacular. I wasn’t one to use slang and I dressed classy and elegantly. As a black student, I wanted so badly to fit in with their crowd. However, my presence was not really welcomed because of the idea that I was haughty. With this in mind, sometimes you have to watch how you present yourself. If you have RBF (Resting Bitch Face), try smiling more often. If you don’t look at people directly in the eye, make an effort to make eye contact. If you purposely avoid people, or activities subconsciously or consciously because you feel like you are superior to that, try joining activities that are outside of your comfort zone. Being prideful only makes you an outcast. It leads people to feeling uncomfortable and often offended by you.
  2. Positive Pride. Now I have made my opinion clear about how pride can lead to destruction. Nonetheless, it is important to have a sense of pride. Am I contradicting myself? Let me explain. As an individual, your pride can mean your self worth. You should take pride in yourself. This simply means to have a sense of self-esteem. You should come to the realization that you are a valuable human being with wonderful qualities. As l0ng as you do not become arrogant and start to think that these qualities make you a superior human being to some one, then you’re good. Having self-pride or self-worth allows you to avoid harmful behavior. People who care about themselves, will not be involved in toxic relationships or do things that are harmful to the body such as drugs. Self-pride allows you to aspire and to accomplish goals. Without it, one will be not have ambition. So take time to be proud of yourself and love yourself.

Well, that’s all I have for today. I hope you enjoyed.

Stay fabulous,

Abisola

The Struggle Is Real

Ok, I’ll admit it. I’m not perfect. No one is. If there is any one in your life who wants to exude or portray the role of a “perfect person”, they are a big fat liar. Even the people who seem to have everything put together all the time, have their flaws. We all struggle through one thing or the other. It’s a part of what makes us human beings. For me, the only perfect person out there was Jesus Christ. Even saints are sinners. Therefore, I am going to get real and authentic and share with you some of the things I struggle with. There not in a particular order, just what comes to mind.

  1. Weight and Body Image. Now, I have said this multiple times. I am trying to lose weight. Most people will look at me and wonder why? From the outside, my body looks pretty darn good if I say so myself. I have muscle tone and look healthily slim. So why on earth would I want to lose weight? Well, for starters I have gained a significant amount of weight throughout the past year. I had a medical complication and one of the side effects of the medication was weight gain. It is unfortunate, because before I was placed on the medication I was at one of the smallest points in my life. However,  I was not healthy. My goal is to lose 25 pounds by the fall semester of college. I have already lost 5 pounds (See Military Diet post). Despite my effort to lose weight, I am actually genuinely happy with my body (for the most part). Nonetheless, there are days when I don’t like my body that much. In those moments when the dress doesn’t fit in the dressing room or my breasts appear to big, I feel the pang of low body image.  Fortunately, these moments are less frequent then my moments of body appreciation. I am aware that a lot of women go through this struggle. I am also fine with the fact that some days I will think positively about my body image and other days I won’t. The goal that I am working on is  to have positive body image for the majority of the time.
  2. Keeping Grudges.  We have all been there. Someone does something to hurt you and you just want to bask in your anger. I’ll be the first one to admit this. I sometimes like to keep grudges. I call it the forgive and not forget mode. In a sense, forgiving and not forgetting isn’t a bad thing per se. We are supposed to learn from our mistakes. The mistakes that we make are supposed to help us grow. Despite this, if you are holding on to the same situation for months or even years that will not benefit you at all. For example, a friend of mine disappointed me and lied to me on my birthday. I was infuriated and felt like I couldn’t forgive her (at that moment). I eventually forgave her but I almost didn’t want to give her a second chance. I wanted to cut her off as a friend immediately. With the help of my mom and other people, I learned that if you are so quick to cut someone off you will not have friends. It is important to give people second chances. I gave her a second chance. Although, I struggle to see her in the same light I did before.
  3. Being Vulnerable. I am not the type of individual to wear my heart on my sleeve. I am very cautious of exposing my emotions. I have never been in a serious romantic relationship. However, I plan to be in one in the near future. With this in mind, I have to open up to the possibility of being vulnerable. In order to fall in love, you have to let your guards down. That is often so hard for me not only in romantic relationships, but in friendships. I am learning to be vulnerable without being naive. There is a big difference. You should be able to be open and express your feeling with someone without giving your heart away so easily. If that makes sense? Well that’s all that I have for today. Please feel free to share some of your struggles with me. I’d love to hear. I hope you enjoyed today.

Much love,

Abisola

The Military Diet

Hello everyone,

Today’s blog is going to be short and to the point. As you can see by the title, I’m going to share my experience of the military diet. For those of you who don’t know I have been on a weight loss journey for the past couple of months. With this in mind, I have been trying to improve my eating habits and exercise more frequently. I had heard of the military diet for a couple of years actually. It is a pretty old diet. Nonetheless, I was highly skeptical of it. This is due to the fact that it claims one can lose up to 10 pounds within three days. I know! Crazy isn’t it. Also, while reviewing the diet, I thought that I would be starving. So what made me decide to do it? Well, I had been hitting a weight loss plateau. This means that I was in a state where I wasn’t losing any weight. So, I wanted something that would jumpstart my weight loss. Therefore, I decided to do the diet.

I purchased all the ingredients for a mere $30. It was not too expensive and I had plenty of leftovers in case I wanted to do it another time. These ingredients included things such as tuna, wheat bread, eggs, saltine crackers, green beans, apples, grapefruit, peanut butter, bananas and drum roll vanilla ice cream. Yep, the most satisfying part of the diet is that you get to eat ice cream every night. Now, I was prepared for the diet, all I needed to get was some motivation. Luckily, since I was the one that paid for the groceries instead of my mom,  I was highly motivated to do the diet to the best of my ability.

The first day of the diet was not bad at all. I started off breakfast with  1 piece of toast with two teaspoons of peanut butter. I also had 1/2 of a grapefruit. I love peanut butter and I was full up until lunchtime. Lunchtime was a little light for my liking. I had one slice of toast with a can of tuna. I got hungry while waiting for dinner but I suppressed my hunger by drinking water. For dinner, I had two hotdogs, one cup of green beans, an apple, half a banana and two scoops of vanilla ice cream (1 cup).

The second day consisted of one slice of toast, one egg, and a half a banana for breakfast. Lunch was supposed to be cottage cheese, but I substituted that for tuna.Then, I had one egg, and 5 saltine crackers. In the evening, I had 2 hotdogs, broccoli, carrots, 1/2 scoop of vanilla ice cream, and 1/2 a banana. The last day was probably the most challenging. I had 1 slice of cheddar cheese, one apple, and 5 saltine crackers for breakfast. Following that, I had a slice of toast and one egg for lunch. Lastly, I had a can of tuna and ice cream and a half a banana for dinner.

Overall, I lost a total of 5 pounds within those three days. Also, I noticed that my stomach appeared flatter. I learned portion control and was able to learn the habit of minimizing snacking. It definitely taught me diligence. It was not always easy. By the middle of the second day, I felt like giving up. I’m happy that I stuck with it for the three days. I would recommend this because its literally only 3 days. You can use the discipline to survive with a low calorie diet for three days. Also, I believe you will see results. Although, results will vary per person I was still pleased with my own. I hope this was helpful. Thank you for reading.

 

Military Diet

Stay Fabulous,

Abisola

Patience is a Virture

Growing up, my mother used to always say the phrase “patience is a virtue”. As a child, I never really understood what that meant. However, as I grew older I started to understand the significance of that statement. Basically, what it means is that patience is a value. It is a skill or an attribute that is positive. Patience can be acquired over the years. It can be very difficult to acquire or easy depending on the individual’s willingness. Nonetheless, when you have patience your whole life will be made easier. I will share with you some quick tips on how to gain patience.

  1. Patience is obtained by making a strict effort. I am a firm believer that nothing in life is granted without hard work and dedication. Thus, with patience, there is always something to work on. You have to be willing to make a change. In order to be patient, one has to get up and plan how you will be more patient. For example, if you are a teacher and you are working with young children, you will definitely have to make an effort to be patient with them. This means that you will be slow to anger, and quick to show love and affection. It also means that you will cooperate with them when things become difficult. To reach this point, takes planning and work ethic.
  2. You can get patience by being proactive. What does it mean to be proactive? The definition of proactive means a person, policy or action,  creating or controlling a situation, by causing something to happen rather than responding to it after it happened. In other words, or synonyms for it would taking charge, enterprising and driven. To be patient you have to take the bold step of taking the high road. You can’t let yourself react to things that happen to you. You have to be prepared to make the first move, even if it is complicated. For example, when some one makes you angry instead of blowing up and going ham on them, take the effort to resolve the situation. This can mean standing up to the person that made you angry. This can also mean being the peace maker. When you are patient, you naturally become peaceable. Patience simply means having the maturity to wait to handle something.
  3. Patience is acquired when you choose to be the bigger person. There are going to be times in your life when you face confrontation. These moments will surely come. However, if you decide to be mature about it and deal with it like an adult, you will gain patience. The definition of patience is the capacity to accept or tolerate delay, trouble, or suffering  without getting angry or upset. Patience shows that you have maturity. It is something that will be able to elevate you to a new social platform. But you have to make that choice. Patience is not granted freely. It is something that you work on. So how do you know what being the bigger person is? Well, first things first reacting in a way that does not cause strife or drama is being the bigger person. Continually, being the bigger person is taking the effort to consider the end results of a reaction. To be a bigger person, you think of things like will this edify my life or cause strife? That’s how you know you have reached maturity.
  4. The last step in gaining patience is to love. Biblically, love is patient. Thus, in order to be patient, you must have love. When, I talk of love,  I don’t necessarily mean the sentimental, commercialized, romantic love. I simply mean the love that is achieved whole heartedly like a friendly love or a brother/sister love. When you have true love for someone you will naturally be patient with them. Why do you think parents love their children so much after all their mishaps? This is because they have love for them. Going on the biblical standpoint again love is slow to anger. This is the epitome of patience. In conclusion, if you want to be a more patient person, make the effort, be the bigger person and get some love in your heart. Thanks for reading. I hope this was helpful.

Sincerely,

Abisola

I Made It

Hello everyone. I am so sorry that I have been MIA for the past two weeks or so. I have definitely missed writing. I have just been so busy. From family coming over to finishing high school there has just been a lot on my plate. Well I’m back to business and hoping to bring fun and creative ideas to the blog. As I mentioned above I have finished high school. That is a major milestone ( despite the fact that my graduation is not until later next month.) My high school experience has been quite a journey. I wanted to share with you all a brief recollection  and reflection of my high school experience.

  1. Freshman Year.- Freshman year was one of my favorite years of high school. I came from a strict, almost Communist-like middle school. The rules and regulations of the middle school were extremely taxing. That is why, I was so elated coming to high school. I was stepping into a land of freedom. Socially, I was a butterfly. I still managed to keep a few of my friends from middle school. However, I was lucky enough to make some very close friends from the senior class. I know, it’s crazy right. As a freshman, the majority of my friends were seniors. I dove myself into a bunch of extracurricular activities. I was in drama, golden voices(choir), key club, epicurean club, SWAT (Students Working Against Tobacco)and plenty more clubs. I was so eager to be involved with school activities. Freshman year was the year that I had my most notable theatrical performance. I played the lead role in the play “Aida”. I played “Aida”. (Clever, isn’t it) That play was extremely memorable to me. It allowed me to make friends that I will share lifetime bonds with. Academically, it was a challenge I’m not going to lie. I attended the highly rigorous and prestigious IB (International Baccalaureate) program. Despite this, I excelled academically.
  2. Sophomore Year- This was the year that I drifted from the performing arts to focus on sports. I played three different sports. I played soccer, ran cross country and even did track. Sophomore year was much easier academically. This was definitely the peak of my social status. I made so many new friends. I drifted completely from my middle school colleagues and found friends that I would consider my besties today. Sophomore year allowed me to express a more jovial creative side of me. I was genuinely happy in all areas of my life. I was the fittest I have ever been. My face was in an amazing glow up position. And I believe I also went natural that year. For those of you who don’t know what going natural is, it is the process in which one stops using chemical straighteners on the hair. Sophomore year is the year in which I embraced who I am. I began to really appreciate my race and culture. I had a sort of pro-black movement. With going natural to divulging in black culture through mediums such as television and friendships, I was embracing my title as an African-American woman.
  3. Junior Year- Junior year by far was one of the worst years of my high school experience. Academically, it was the most challenging. It started off quite well actually. I had stopped with sports which freed up my time a little more. I even tried something new such as an Indian dance team called Garba. Furthermore, I began to volunteer with a mental health awareness group called Peace River. So what was so bad about junior year? With the stress of school and numerous other factors, I fell ill. I had a nervous breakdown. This breakdown caused me to miss months of school. The doctors thought I would not make it. If not for the grace of God I probably would not have made it. I eventually recovered, (obviously) but my life would not be the same.
  4. Senior Year- To move on to a happier note, senior year was probably equal to my second year when it comes to how much I enjoyed it. I made the executive decision to switch schools. This decision was probably the best one I could have possibly made. I decided to do “dual enrollment”. Basically, I attend high school at a community college and take college classes. This year, I was in the least amount of stress that I have been in the last four years. I have so much free time. When I was in the IB program free time was an anomaly. This is also the year that I started this blog. Also, I got accepted into numerous universities. I also finalized what I want to do with my life. Lastly, just to throw this in there I went to prom for the first time and won prom queen. Overall, I am grateful for this process called high school. I have learned so many life lessons.  I have grown as a young woman. I hope you enjoyed this post. Feel free to comment. Thanks for reading.

Stay blessed,

Abisola