The Struggle Is Real

Ok, I’ll admit it. I’m not perfect. No one is. If there is any one in your life who wants to exude or portray the role of a “perfect person”, they are a big fat liar. Even the people who seem to have everything put together all the time, have their flaws. We all struggle through one thing or the other. It’s a part of what makes us human beings. For me, the only perfect person out there was Jesus Christ. Even saints are sinners. Therefore, I am going to get real and authentic and share with you some of the things I struggle with. There not in a particular order, just what comes to mind.

  1. Weight and Body Image. Now, I have said this multiple times. I am trying to lose weight. Most people will look at me and wonder why? From the outside, my body looks pretty darn good if I say so myself. I have muscle tone and look healthily slim. So why on earth would I want to lose weight? Well, for starters I have gained a significant amount of weight throughout the past year. I had a medical complication and one of the side effects of the medication was weight gain. It is unfortunate, because before I was placed on the medication I was at one of the smallest points in my life. However,  I was not healthy. My goal is to lose 25 pounds by the fall semester of college. I have already lost 5 pounds (See Military Diet post). Despite my effort to lose weight, I am actually genuinely happy with my body (for the most part). Nonetheless, there are days when I don’t like my body that much. In those moments when the dress doesn’t fit in the dressing room or my breasts appear to big, I feel the pang of low body image.  Fortunately, these moments are less frequent then my moments of body appreciation. I am aware that a lot of women go through this struggle. I am also fine with the fact that some days I will think positively about my body image and other days I won’t. The goal that I am working on is  to have positive body image for the majority of the time.
  2. Keeping Grudges.  We have all been there. Someone does something to hurt you and you just want to bask in your anger. I’ll be the first one to admit this. I sometimes like to keep grudges. I call it the forgive and not forget mode. In a sense, forgiving and not forgetting isn’t a bad thing per se. We are supposed to learn from our mistakes. The mistakes that we make are supposed to help us grow. Despite this, if you are holding on to the same situation for months or even years that will not benefit you at all. For example, a friend of mine disappointed me and lied to me on my birthday. I was infuriated and felt like I couldn’t forgive her (at that moment). I eventually forgave her but I almost didn’t want to give her a second chance. I wanted to cut her off as a friend immediately. With the help of my mom and other people, I learned that if you are so quick to cut someone off you will not have friends. It is important to give people second chances. I gave her a second chance. Although, I struggle to see her in the same light I did before.
  3. Being Vulnerable. I am not the type of individual to wear my heart on my sleeve. I am very cautious of exposing my emotions. I have never been in a serious romantic relationship. However, I plan to be in one in the near future. With this in mind, I have to open up to the possibility of being vulnerable. In order to fall in love, you have to let your guards down. That is often so hard for me not only in romantic relationships, but in friendships. I am learning to be vulnerable without being naive. There is a big difference. You should be able to be open and express your feeling with someone without giving your heart away so easily. If that makes sense? Well that’s all that I have for today. Please feel free to share some of your struggles with me. I’d love to hear. I hope you enjoyed today.

Much love,