Friendzone

This topic might come as a sensitive one to some people. People who have loved and admired a person but the love is unrequited. The infamous friendzone. Urban dictionary would describe the friendzone as: “A state of being where a male inadvertently becomes a ‘platonic friend’ of an attractive female who he was trying to intitate a romantic relationship. Females have been rumored to arrive in the Friend Zone, but reports are unsubstanciated.” I would have to agree with this definition, however I definitely believe that women can be put in the friendzone too. I know several women who have been in this predicament. Likewise, I recently experienced this scenario of being put into the friendzone by someone who I liked that I met as an acquaintance that didn’t like me in the same way I liked him. Because I don’t have very many guy friends, I thought I was safe from the friendzone. Nonetheless, my first experience in the friendzone occurred with the first male friend that I made in college. Let me testify, it sucks. The dilemma comes from the fact that you have that person in your life, yet you can not be satisfied until you have them in the romantic way you wanted them as. The worst aspect of it is wondering where you went wrong. Obviously, that individual likes you as a person or they wouldn’t be friends with you. However, figuring out what “flaw” you have to make them not like you can be a self-esteem killer. You may start to second guess your self-worth. Am I not pretty enough? Am I not funny enough? Maybe I’m not smart enough? Well, I’m here to tell you to S-T-O-P! If you have been put in the friendzone by a guy or girl, it’s not your fault. Just like you may not be able to pinpoint the reasons you like that individual, in the same way he/she may not be able to pinpoint why they DON’T like you. For example, one of my best friends in high school LOVED one of her best guy friends. She is absolutely gorgeous, has a great personality, and is super intelligent. Her guy-friend clearly did not take notice of all of her wonderful traits. Out of frustration, she gave him an ultimatum. Either they date or they stop being friends because her feelings for him were just too strong. They eventually started dating, but the relationship had a lot of rocky points and they broke up within a year. The point of this story is to share that sometimes you have got the whole package, but the guy or girl your friends with is too blind to see it. Never doubt your inner qualities. I am a firm believer that you are destined for the right guy at the right time. It may not be when you want it, but it will come right on time. I could give you some tips on how to get out of the friendzone. Notwithstandingly, I have not yet figured that one on my own. It is not impossible, because with the story I mentioned above, it may happen. Things happen for a reason, maybe that guy/girl wasn’t right for you. Or, maybe if you did start dating that individual, you would have a terrible relationship. You never know. Don’t wallow in the friendzone. Get out there, meet other people, and remember to be happy even if you are by yourself. Well, that’s all that I have for today. If you want more topics like these, be sure to leave a comment.

With Love,

Abisola