Single Girl’s Guide To Opening Up To Love




Today’s blog post came from a recent discussion I was having with a dear friend of mine. She confided in me that after being single and experiencing the liberation that she felt in comparison to being in a relationship, she did not have any desire to be in a relationship. I am no relationship expert, however,  I am a very wise critical thinker. Friends often come to me for relationship advice and I am glad to analyze, assess, and diagnose as if I am the love doctor.  This particular post is for those who have major doubts and negative preconceptions about love for whatever reason. Maybe you had a bad heartbreak? Maybe your “daddy issues” have caused you to have trust issues? Maybe you just can’t fathom the idea of being vulnerable with someone who is essentially a stranger. Whatever your area of concern, I will give you some tips to open your heart to love again.

1. Work On Independence:

This idea might come off as a surprise to some. You might think, how can I learn to open up to love if I am ok being alone? Well, the answer is that you’re OK being alone, not DETERMINED to be. I am a firm believer that God uses your time of solidarity to shape you into the person that he wants you to be. If you eventually want to be open to the idea of being with someone, then you have to face the drum of being on your own. My mom always used to tell me that husband and wife are not accepted into heaven together. Neither are children and parents.  In other words, my mother was trying to explain the idea that you have ownership of where you’re life is going to be at the end of the day. You have to be willing to work on self-improvement and self-care before your heart and mind can be prepared for a partner. Ladies, stay on your grind. Work on your relationship with God. Work on your career. Work on getting fit. Travel. Once you have discovered and explored all areas of who YOU are, then you’re mind will be prepared for the next step.

2. Learn To Trust Again:

This step is a very tough one. Learning to trust is a gradual process. It is even harder when you have the baggage of failure of trust. So how can you move on from that and accept the love you deserve? Friendship. Now you may think that is the dumbest response but hear me out.  Building platonic relationships are the perfect way of analyzing how a healthy romantic relationship can be. Now friends of the same sex are a great way to start but learning to trust friends of the opposite sex is an even greater feat. Even if you are not romantically interested in one of your guy friends make an effort to strengthen that relationship. Once you do, you will see the benefits that a relationship with the opposite sex has to offer. You will also have practice as to how to be vulnerable with a man again. The great thing about learning to trust through platonic relationships is that the burden and emotional baggage that physicality brings is not even a factor.

3. Pray For Discernment:

The last and most important step in learning to open your heart to love again is recognizing/or discerning what is right from wrong. If you are reading this you probably already have a guarded heart when it comes to opening up to love. This is a blessing and a curse. While you shouldn’t be giving your heart away nilly willy to any  Tom, Dick, and Harry, you don’t want to miss out on an opportunity to be open with the right person. That is why you should pray that God gives you the ability to discern who you should trust freely and open your heart too. When you do that and you recognize the key signs that the RIGHTFUL man is pursuing you, you will be able to experience a relationship free of heartbreak.

That’s all I have for today. If you are still interested in hearing more about this topic or you found it enjoyable or useful please leave a comment. I will most likely be doing more relationship posts in the near future so keep an eye out for them.

Love you all,

Abisola XOXOblog-post-single-girl-guide-to-opening-up-to-love