Private Party and Riding Solo

Hello everyone,

Today I wanted to talk about something that I have been learning to embrace lately: Being Alone.

When we think about being alone, we often think of the idea of being an old maid, cat lady, or hermit with no friends or connection to the outside world. This does not have to be the case.

As an extrovert, I have suffered with the idea of being by myself and enjoying my own company. I thrive on social interactions.

This summer has been a learning experience. I have my own apartment. Only a few of my friends are within close proximity. I am single. I have a lot of me-time.

At first I took this fate as a tough pill to swallow. I thought, “I need more friends,” It would be nice to have a boyfriend”,  “I’m bored.” But after having a conversation with my sister, she told me to listen to an oldie by one of my favorite artists, India Arie.

The song is called “Private Party.” It is about being by yourself and just embracing who you are, and loving yourself.

The song reminded me how valuable being with oneself truly is. The great thing to know is that in fact, you are never really alone. God is always with you.

The time of singleness, he can be your man.

When you’re by yourself, you can pray and worship.

When you’re alone, you have time to gather your thoughts and essentially, be selfish.

There’s a limited amount of time in your life when all you have to think about is yourself.

When you have kids, a spouse,  or even parents, you will wish that you embraced the alone time more.

Another song that is an oldie but a goodie is Jason Derulo’s “Ridin Solo”. The song is upbeat and fun. Nonetheless, when you really get into the nitty gritty of what he is saying you will realize that singleness is not so bad. You have time to focus and recenter your life around yourself.

I hope this was able to encourage and uplift you.  If you ever feel alone, just know that God is with you. If you would like to chat or have something to say about this post. Feel free to contact me via the contact page.

Have a blessed day,

Abisola

Forgiveness 101: Learning How To Forgive Yourself

Hello everyone,

I hope all is well with you all.

Today I wanted to talk on the subject of forgiveness. This has been very dear to my heart lately.  I’m not perfect.  I am a sinner and I make mistakes. I always ask God for forgiveness.

The beauty of this process is knowing that God always forgives you. If, you come before him with a repentant heart. This means, that you come to him with the deliberate intention of never doing that wrongdoing again. Don’t get me wrong, you may fall short again. But, God looks at the heart. If you have the pure heart and are making efforts to resist the temptation of your sin, God will understand.

Here comes the hard part.

Forgiving yourself.

Guilt and shame can be the hindrance  of all success.  There’s one thing that you need to know is that in Romans 8:1 it says:
“There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit.”

If God does not condemn you, who are you to condemn yourself? I know it’s easier said than done.  We oftentimes feel unworthy of God’s love and favor.

So how can you go about forgiving yourself? Here are some tips that will help.

  1. Know WHO you are and WHOSE you are:

    You are a child of God. You were fearfully and wonderfully made. That means that you are the daughter and son of the Almighty king. Once you let that sink in, you will know that there is nothing that can deter God from loving you.  You have self worth beyond your wildest imagination.  Even when you sin, God still loves you.

  2.  Make Self-Love and Self-Care a Priority

God has already taken the punishment for your sin on the cross. There is no need in punishing yourself. While you shouldn’t reward yourself for doing wrong, you shouldn’t bask in self-condemnation and guilt. Recognize your faults, ask God for forgiveness, stop doing the sin, and move about your business. It’s as simple as that. Treat yourself the same way that God wants to treat you, with open arms, love, and affection.

3. Learn Your Weaknesses

Unforgiveness often occurs when you do the same sin over and over again. The negative pattern can make one feel like a failure. Take heart.  When you establish and recognize the specific temptations, triggers, and weaknesses, that lead you to your sin, you can make the best effort to avoid them.  Think deeply. What is it that I am doing or thinking about before I do this sin, that ignites a drive for me to sin?

4. Take Time To Heal

The process may not be easy. It is a journey. Do not be discouraged if you still feel guilty after a week of practicing these tips. I recommend making a conscious effort to serve God better and more fully.  When you start reading his word, and basking in your rightful place in his kingdom, forgiving yourself will be easy.

That’s all that I have for today. I hope this was helpful. If you have any questions, comments or concerns, let me know in the contact section.

 

Stay Blessed,

Abisola XoXo

10 Reasons To Appreciate Your Mother (Even After Mother’s Day)

My mother used to say “There is no one in this world like your mother.” As I got older, I agree with this wholeheartedly.
While Mother’s Day is a wonderful time to appreciate and embrace your mother, it should not be the only time. No matter how close or distant you are to your mother, at least one of these reason will resonate with you. Here are 10 reasons why your mother rocks.
1. She literally “gives you life”
Ok. Simple biology. Every human being came from a woman. That woman carried you in her womb for nine months. She consciously made the effort to give birth to you. She went through a journey to bring you into the world. No matter how annoying or awful you may think your mother is, for that reason alone, you should appreciate her.
2. You can count on her for advice
Have you ever heard of the saying “Mother knows best.” In most cases, this saying is correct. Your mother has been living on this earth significantly longer than you. She has accumulated a wealth of wisdom and knowledge that she just wants to pass down to you. Every now and then, take heed to what she is saying.
3. She will protect you
You may be to old for her to scare away the “monsters” under your bed. You may be to old for her to kiss your boo-boos. But that doesn’t stop her from defending your honor and pride. A mother will almost always be there to try to help you out of dangerous and compromising situations. If someone is talking bad about you, you better believe that the mama bear instincts inside of her, will protect you from their hurtful words.
4. She is literally super woman
Have you ever wondered how some moms are able to wake up at the crack of dawn, prepare breakfast, take you to school, go to work, come home, cook, clean, and have dinner ready before you know it? Let me tell you, it’s the super woman in her. Mothers seem to possess an instinctive supernatural power that allows them to multitask, and be everyone’s personal helper and guide. It’s quite an amazing feat.
5. She knows you better than…you
Maybe it was the nine months of bonding in the womb, or the fact that she raised you, but sometimes it seems that your mother knows you from the inside out. Your mother can tell when you are sad, angry, confused, or genuinely happy. She can call you out on your bluff. For some, this can be irritating. But, sometimes you need that extra push to reveal your true emotions.
6. She gave you your values
Mama didn’t raise no fool. The home training, manners, and etiquette that you learned from your mother are apart of what makes you who you are. Be grateful that your mother told you to say please and thank you. It shows that you were not “raised in a barn.”
7. She is a shoulder to cry on
Bad breakup? Call your mom. Failed an exam? Call your mom? Lost your job? Call your mom. I could go on and on with various scenarios where your mother’s support is necessary. It is her maternal instinct, to fix your discomfort and negative emotions. I can almost guarantee that she wants to know what is wrong, so she can give you support.
8. She wants the best for you
Mothers want to see their children succeed in life. They give you the support you need and will push you for excellence. All they really want to say in life is “That’s my baby,” when they see you doing something good.
9. She gives you the tough love
Leave it to your mother to tell you how it is. At the moment, the truth might burn. However, know that it is for the best.

My mother used to say “There is no one in this world like your mother.” As I got older, I agree with this wholeheartedly.
While Mother’s Day is a wonderful time to appreciate and embrace your mother, it should not be the only time. No matter how close or distant you are to your mother, at least one of these reason will resonate with you. Here are 10 reasons why your mother rocks.
1. She literally “gives you life”
Ok. Simple biology. Every human being came from a woman. That woman carried you in her womb for nine months. She consciously made the effort to give birth to you. She went through a journey to bring you into the world. No matter how annoying or awful you may think your mother is, for that reason alone, you should appreciate her.
2. You can count on her for advice
Have you ever heard of the saying “Mother knows best.” In most cases, this saying is correct. Your mother has been living on this earth significantly longer than you. She has accumulated a wealth of wisdom and knowledge that she just wants to pass down to you. Every now and then, take heed to what she is saying.
3. She will protect you
You may be to old for her to scare away the “monsters” under your bed. You may be to old for her to kiss your boo-boos. But that doesn’t stop her from defending your honor and pride. A mother will almost always be there to try to help you out of dangerous and compromising situations. If someone is talking bad about you, you better believe that the mama bear instincts inside of her, will protect you from their hurtful words.
4. She is literally super woman
Have you ever wondered how some moms are able to wake up at the crack of dawn, prepare breakfast, take you to school, go to work, come home, cook, clean, and have dinner ready before you know it? Let me tell you, it’s the super woman in her. Mothers seem to possess an instinctive supernatural power that allows them to multitask, and be everyone’s personal helper and guide. It’s quite an amazing feat.
5. She knows you better than…you
Maybe it was the nine months of bonding in the womb, or the fact that she raised you, but sometimes it seems that your mother knows you from the inside out. Your mother can tell when you are sad, angry, confused, or genuinely happy. She can call you out on your bluff. For some, this can be irritating. But, sometimes you need that extra push to reveal your true emotions.
6. She gave you your values
Mama didn’t raise no fool. The home training, manners, and etiquette that you learned from your mother are apart of what makes you who you are. Be grateful that your mother told you to say please and thank you. It shows that you were not “raised in a barn.”
7. She is a shoulder to cry on
Bad breakup? Call your mom. Failed an exam? Call your mom? Lost your job? Call your mom. I could go on and on with various scenarios where your mother’s support is necessary. It is her maternal instinct, to fix your discomfort and negative emotions. I can almost guarantee that she wants to know what is wrong, so she can give you support.
8. She wants the best for you
Mothers want to see their children succeed in life. They give you the support you need and will push you for excellence. All they really want to say in life is “That’s my baby,” when they see you doing something good.
9. She gives you the tough love
Leave it to your mother to tell you how it is. At the moment, the truth might burn. However, know that it is for the best.
10. She will never stop loving you
Guys can go. Friends can go. But your mother’s love for you is unconditional. That is a wonderful feeling.
This Mother’s Day, don’t forget to show your mother some love. These reasons are perfect to include in your Mother’s Day card to her. What did she say? Let us know in the comments.
10. She will never stop loving you
Guys can go. Friends can go. But your mother’s love for you is unconditional. That is a wonderful feeling.
This Mother’s Day, don’t forget to show your mother some love. These reasons are perfect to include in your Mother’s Day card to her. What did she say? Let us know in the comments.

Skincare Routine: How To Get A Summer Time Glow, No Makeup Needed

Blog Post Summertime Glow

Hello everyone,

I hope you all are well.  Today I wanted to share with you something that has been a working progress. My skincare routine. Like many young women, my skin has its good days and bad days. It is far from perfect. However, I have noticed a significant improvement in my skin since doing these things. You only get one set of skin, so be sure to take care of it. Without further a due, let’s get too it.

Cleansing

I have very oily skin. This skin type often leads to pesky pimples, especially around that time of the month. To combat this, I started using Dudu Osun black soap. It has done wonders for my skin. I do have to warn, if you have dry skin, I do not recommend it. It can be very drying. It helps eliminate blemishes and fade dark marks. I ordered mine from Amazon. However, you can probably find it at any Afro-Caribbean store.

Another product that is an oldy but a goodie is Clean and Clear Continuos Control Acne Cleanser. It has benzyl peroxide which zaps pimples.

Exfoliator

If you are not doing so, you need to hop on the exfoliation train. It takes off dead skin cells to reveal the new clear skin.I probably do it more often then I should, but it is essential for your routine.

I use St. Ives Blemish Control Apricot scrub. This has salicyclic acid which is known to help fight acne.

Face Masks

I just recently started using Aztec Healing Clay mask, and I can definitely say that I’m pleased by the results.

Face masks are used less often in the week, but doing them makes you feel pampered.  The clay mask that I used is good for all skin types. However, be sure to figure out the purpose of the mask before trying them.

Moisturizer

Shea Butter is the key to my summer time glow.  Use sparingly because it is EXTREMELY hydrating. If you use too much, you will be looking like a frying pan. Also, make sure that the shea butter is the true 100% African shea butter. Avoid the ones with mixtures or harsh parfums.

Shea butter can also be used all over your body. It has so many beneficial purposes from reducing the appearance of stretch marks, to relieving muscle soreness. It also acts as a natural sunscreen. I cannot  stop talking about its wonders.

Welp, that’s basically it. If you have anymore questions or concerns, please reach out to me via the contacts section of the blog.

Have a blessed day.

Love,

Abisola XoXo

10 Things That I’m Loving This Summer

Blog Post 10 Things Summer

 

Hey guys,

School is over for me, (for now) and summer has just begun. I am so excited. Summer for me is the perfect time to rejuvenate and embrace your more relaxed self. I wanted to share with you some things that I’m currently loving for this summer. I hope this gives you all some motivation.

  1. Sundresses/Maxi Dresses:

Nothing says summer than a flowy dress. The beauty about sundresses and maxi dresses is that it is so effortless. You can look so polished, chic, and put together by simply slipping on the dress. These types of dresses make me feel like a bronzed goddess. Which leads me to the next point….

2. Highlighter

Summer is all about that glow. I am definitely not a makeup guru, but the trend for summer is to go ham with the highlight.  Bronzer is also another alternative for highlighter.  Don’t be afraid to shine on this summer.

3. Braids

As a black woman, braids has been a style staple for years. It is so easy to maintain and great for the summer. That’s why I’m getting box braids this summer. They are so versatile and can make your life simpler. Even if you are not a woman of color, braids can be a fun and trendy hairstyle to try.

4.  Shea Butter

I have just gotten on to the shea butter train, and let me tell you, I’m loving it. It has so many wonderful properties from being a moisturizer, toner, stretch mark reducer, and even helps with soreness and pain.  While baring your legs out this summer, you don’t want to get caught look ashy.  Order some 100% Original African Shea Butter, ASAP.

5. Minimal/No Make-up

Where I live, it’s too hot out in these streets to be highlighting and contouring.  Plus, you don’t want your makeup to melt off in the heat. Try going bare-faced once in a while. Or, go light with the makeup.  You will feel refreshed and care-free.

6.  Afrobeats/ Caribbean Music

I’m Nigerian, and there’s something about the rhythm of Afrobeat music that get’s me going.  You just can’t help but dance and have a good time listening to this kind of music. I recommend listening to artists such as Mr. Eazi, Davido, Olamide, Tiwa Savage, and P-Square.

7. Sweat Sessions

As cliche as it sounds, summer bodies are a real thing. While you should aim to be fit any time of the year, summer is when you will be the most revealing. Try to take advantage of that discounted gym membership. Or better yet, do like me and workout at home with Popsugar Fitness on YouTube. Working out is good for both your physical and mental health.

8. Smoothies

I’m a fruit fiend.  My all-time favorite fruit in life is mango. I’m loving drinking delicious fruit smoothies. They even have enough fruit to where you can make it a meal replacement. Don’t sleep on smoothies this summer.

9. Free Time

Personally, I’m taking full advantage of my free time this summer by relaxing and doing things that I enjoy as well. I’m going to get back to some of my hobbies, such as song writing, book writing, and learning how to play the guitar.

10.  Water Time

I’m going to be going to the pool quite frequently this summer. I’m also going to try to go to the beach. The weather demands it, and it such a fun activity.

 

That’s all I have for today.  If you have any comments, or want to reach me, use the Contact form on the blog home page.

 

Thanks for reading.

Love,

Abisola XoXo

First Year of College Reflection

Freshman Year Blog Post Reflection

 

Hello everyone,

I hope you all are doing well. I can’t believe that I have officially completed my first year of college. For my international viewers, this is a completion of my first year of university. When I started this blog, I was a senior in high school. Time has flown by so fast. It has been an incredible journey with a plethora of lessons.  I’ve seen this quote all over twitter, and I know that it holds true for me. “One year of college will change you more than four years of high school.” Without further a due, let’s reflect.

Academics

Furthering your education should be the sole purpose as to why you go to university.  In my best African mom accent “Face your books! Focus!”. In all seriousness, my academics have been the core of my college experience.

I have always been a studious, ambitious, over-achiever student. I am so grateful for these traits. Plus, with my high school academic curriculum, I was taking higher level college courses. This definitely made my academic transition easier. Personally, my consensus for the course work for college is that it is not necessarily difficult, however it is significantly more tedious than high school.

Let me explain.

In college, your classes are broken down into shorter four month semester. Therefore, you have to accumulate a year’s worth of material into 16 weeks. That means that assignments are longer, papers are more frequent, and exams are harder. Essentially, for me the classes are not necessarily difficult but more time consuming.

I am also fortunate that I have was able to complete my general education courses. Now I can focus on my major.   Nonetheless,  “News Reporting” the one class that I took for my major was a whirlwind. I have never been more challenged in my writing until then.  For a lack of a better term, my teacher kicked our asses from the very beginning.

Overall, I am more than proud of myself for how I performed academically. Your girl is on her grind.

Social

I’m going to be honest, socially college was not necessarily what I expected it to be. I have always been a social floater (Check my old post: “Social Floater” ) *Shameless plug*

In the beginning stages, I met such an influx of people.  People were eager to make friends. Phone numbers were being exchanged.  Facebook and Instagram followers skyrocketed.  Then, once the middle of the fall semester started progressing, people became more distant.  Everyone had already established their friend groups. I found myself losing certain people in my life.  I realized that losing some people in my life was truly for the best.

I also learned that quality was better than quantity. In my deepest pit of loneliness, I had to reevaluate my situation. If I could count 4 or even 2 genuine friends that I could call and rely on, I was doing all right.  When I started reaching out to those people, I realized that I wasn’t the only one having trouble making genuine friends versus acquaintances.

Now, I’m at a place where I am truly embracing the people in my life.  I hope to make more friends but I would like to let people know that sometimes it takes time.

Romantic Relationships

I have spoken briefly about this in other posts. I am still single as a pringle. I will repeatedly say that the prospects in college are DRAMATICALLY AND SIGNIFICANTLY better than in high school. Mainly because you know that these individuals are getting an education and hopefully going somewhere in life. This doesn’t necessarily mean that you will find bae right away.

Personally,  I have had a few hiccups along the way.  Has there been potential baes? Yes. Have they been right for me? No.

Some of the things I have learned from college dating life is that a man that wants you will be with you. He will pursue you. He will not make you feel unwanted.

I also learned that a man that pursues you still might not be right for you. I have had to learn that there are somethings such as religion that are nonnegotiable and uncompromisable.

But I am happily single, working on myself. Shoot, my summer plans are to continue to glow up and be the bad b*tch that I know I can be.

I still have not given up on meeting bae in college though.

Faith In College

I saved the best for last. My spiritual level is on an all-time high. I have never prayed as much as I do now. I have never been so consistent with reading the word. I have never such a hunger, craving, and desire for the things of the Lord until now.

One of the things that I am grateful for was being consistent with going to church. I was blessed to have a church that was conveniently on campus.

However,  one of the other things that I am grateful for is joining a bible study. This bible study has allowed me to dig into the word thoroughly and have a unique perspective on what I am reading.

I am proud to announce that I will be leading my own bible study small group in the fall.

My prayer is to continue to grow in Christ and to be used to expand his kingdom.

Well, that’s all I have for today. If you want to know more about my college experience or have questions, tips, or advice answered, please be free to reach out to me via the contact button.

Stay Blessed,

Abisola XoXo