When the deep breathing doesn’t work: Dealing with Anxiety

 

 

Blog Post Anxiety

 

Hey guys,

Happy New Month! I’ve genuinely missed writing. I feel like I say this all the time, but I’m so sorry that I haven’t been as consistent as I should be. But don’t worry, I’ll work on that.

I wanted to talk about something that has been on my heart for a while: Anxiety.

I would not go as far as to say that I have ever been clinically diagnosed with anxiety. But, what I can say, is that I have had anxious thoughts and periods of deep worry and stress. If you are going through anxiety, know that you are not alone.

I wanted to share some tips that might help you when you are dealing with anxiety in your life.

 

1. Identify The Problem

They say the first step with dealing with a problem, is figuring out that you have a problem. So what is making you anxious? Is it a culmination of different issues that you’re having in your life? Is it an irrational fear? Is it something that has a potential solution? When you’ve figured out some of the things that are making you anxious, write them down.  Psychologically, writing your anxious thoughts can make you feel like you have released them from your head. It can also make you realize that your problems may not be as big as they seemed in your head.

2.  Figure Out The Triggers

Do you become anxious when you reflect on a certain aspect of your life? Do you become anxious when you talk to certain people. Figure out what is triggering these thought patterns and emotions.

Once you’ve identified your triggers,  it’s important to see if there is a plausible resolution. For example, if you are having anxious thoughts about graduating from college and finding a job, you could sit down and make a tentative post-grad plan. The plan is not going to magically make all your problems go away. But, if you take small actions daily, it can make the task at hand, less daunting.

I’m also aware that some anxious thoughts and feelings don’t have a solution. Maybe you have struggled through abuse or the death of a loved one.  Maybe your anxious feelings are continuous and there is no particular trigger.

I recommend seeking counseling or therapy. Your therapist could work with you to see what types of coping mechanisms you could use to deal with your emotional pain.

Channeling your energy into something creative is a good coping mechanism. Writing poetry, painting, singing, dancing, are all ways that can help you cope with those feelings. Exercise is another great way, because your body releasing mood lifting endorphins or chemicals that can alleviate stress.

3. Talk It Out

This can go hand and hand with therapy. But if you don’t have access to a therapist, please call a friend. I know you might feel like you are bothersome. But, a genuine friend or family member, will be willing to listen to you as you vent.

Bottling up your emotions is probably the worst thing you can do. It’s so easy to internalize your fears and dwell on them. But when you speak it out, it’s no longer a weight on your mind. It becomes something that others can  help you with. Life is not meant to be dealt with alone.

Seeking wise counsel also creates a space for people to potentially give you advice on dealing with your worries.

4.  Practice Optimism

This is definitely easier said than done. My mom always said that why are you worried about something that has a possible solution. If there is a will, there is a way.

When something negative happens that is causing you worry or fear, try to see something good about the situation. For example, if you are anxious about money, think about it as an opportunity to practice being frugal.  Or, you could see money issues as something that is going to build your character and make you more appreciative of the wealth you will have in the future. Also 9 times out of 10, there is a solution to the problem, even if it’s an option that you don’t care for, like selling a valuable item or getting a second job.

5.  Rely On Your Faith

God already knows what your dealing with. He hears your prayers, even if they seem unanswered.

Philippians 4: 6-7 (NIV)  “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

1 Peter 5:7 Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you

You don’t have to work through all your problems alone. You have a God that is working to bring you out of all of your worries, anxieties, and stresses.

He’s got your back. You are meant to live in perfect peace. But if you are dealing with anxiety, ask God to give you that peace.

You may be in the midst of the storm, but when he gives you that peace, it will feel like you are cruising on a yacht.

 

That’s all I have for today. I hope this was helpful.

 

Stay Blessed,

Abisola

 

 

COMPARISON KILLS: Getting Over The Comparison Game

Blog Post Comparison Kills

Hey guys!

How are you? I hope all is well. I’m sorry for the lack of posts. I started school and whew chile…the homework.  By the way, I can officially share that this is my senior year of college.  By God’s grace I will be graduating a year early. But we’ll talk about that another time.

I wanted to talk about something that has been on my heart for a while. Jonathan McReynold’s has a song called “Comparison Kills”. I’ll leave the link to it.

Basically, it’s the idea that as human beings we compare our lives so much to others. That’s so easy to do in the age of social media where people are constantly sharing updates about themselves.  Seeing other’s highlight reels can make you think “Am I doing enough?” , “Am I enough?” “How come I’m not in her shoes?.” The list goes on.  This is all coming from personal experience. I am so guilty of comparing myself to others and feeling inadequate. This post is for me just as much as it is for you.

Here are some ways to find peace when you find yourself comparing yourself.

1.You Were Given Your Own Unique Destiny:

Jeremiah 29:11 talks about how God gave us a plan for good and not for evil.

God formed us in our mother’s womb and knew how our life would play out before we were even born.  As cliche as it sounds, every single person on this earth was born with a special purpose.  Why are you worried about someone else’s destiny, when you can be thinking of ways to fulfill your own?

No one’s destiny is greater than the other because each destiny is given FOR YOU and YOU ALONE.

When we compare ourselves, we undermine the value of our own unique purpose for our lives. If you admire someone’s destiny or purpose, find ways to incorporate some of the things they are doing in your own life. But, remember to stay true to who you are and never try to live someone else’s life.  Like they say, be yourself because everyone else is taken.

2.  Social Media Can Be a Deceiver

I’ve mentioned this before, but social media can really make you seem like people’s lives are better than its reality.  It is a highlight reel meaning that people generally only post the “highs” in their life. Rarely are people posting when they’re low, upset, frustrated, anxious.  Half the time the person’s life that you’re comparing, is in fact a facade. You don’t see the behind the scenes when they’re arguing with their spouses,  taking care of their sick family member or whatever issue they may have. Take social media posts with a grain of salt. I’ve had to do this in my professional career. I see people posting more things about their professional endeavors,  getting awards, doing x,y,z and I sometimes start to doubt myself. Why am I not doing enough? How do they get to that position?

Sometimes seeing things on social media can be motivational.  Professionally, it motivates me to want to do more in my journalism career. However, I have to be careful not to fall into the pit of self-pity and feelings of inadequacy.

3.  You are not in competition with anyone

I’ve also had to remind myself of this one constantly.  My industry of television news and reporting is extremely competitive. But I had to realize that I’m not in a competition with anyone but myself. What’s for me will be for me.  If I don’t get an opportunity, that’s because I wasn’t supposed to get it.  When you realize that your work colleagues, classmates, friends, family members, etc are not your competition, you will find peace. Be in a competition with yourself. Always try to do your personal best. Don’t discredit your personal best because you don’t feel like it’s up to par because of others. There’s no winning team in the game of life. There’s enough room in this life for everyone to succeed.

That’s all I have for you all today. If you enjoyed this or were inspired by this, please let me know in the comments or contact section.

Stay Blessed,

Abisola

How To Get Your Mindset Right For The School Year

Blog Post Back To School Mindset.jpg

Hey guys,

How are you? I go back to college (university for my non-American readers) next week. This is my third year, and possibly my last year. I’m so excited and I’ve started to mentally prepare myself for the work load ahead of me. This is a critical year and I’m going to be super busy. So I’d like to share with you all some tips to getting your mindset right for back to school.

1. Plan Your Intentions:

What is the main goal or accomplishment that you want to get out of this school year? When you think about that, write it down. Goals always seem more tangible when they are written down.  Then, you can start making smaller sub-points as to how you are going to execute that goal. For example, let’s say that this school year you set out to network more. You can make sub goals like I’m going to increase my LinkedIn following by 10 people this week. Or, I’m going to go to the professionals alumni conference in two months.  The main thing is that you know what you want out of the school year and how you are going to get there.

2. Do Your Research

Talk to students who have taken the classes you are going to take.  Look up the professor on ratemyprofessor.com. Try to find course material that may be relevant to your classes and read up on it ahead of time. You always want to have an advantage in your classes.  Even if it’s as simple as knowing what the big final project will be ahead of time, it can be useful to you in the long run.

3.  Get Organized

I love using planners or writing down my To-Do-Lists.  Writing goals that you want to achieve every day helps you to stay on track with your main objective. This may just be me, but there’s something about crossing something off your To-Do-List that makes you feel good about yourself.  It allows you to be more productive because you’re not wasting time figuring out how you need to spend your day. Organization also means keeping a clean environment.  Studies have shown that having a clean, orderly environment can positive impact your productivity and studying capabilities.  Try to keep your home and study area clean and organized.  Even if you don’t study at home,  a cleanly environment makes a clutter-free mind.

 

Those are all the tips I have for you now. If you have more questions, comments, or concerns, leave a comment for me or message me through the contact section.

 

Stay Blessed,

Abisola

Man’s Rejection Is God’s Redirection

 

Blog Post Man's Rejection

 

Hey guys!

I know,  I know it’s been so long. How are you guys doing? I hope all is well.   I’ve missed writing on my blog so much. But sis/bro, a lot has been going on. Today’s blog post has been on my heart for months now. This summer has been an emotional rollercoaster. I’m not a preacher by any means, but I believe God put this post on my heart. This is not just to encourage you all, but to encourage myself. That’s why it’s been taking me so long to write it.  You have to practice what you preach. Can I get an Amen?

Let me give you guys some background information.

For those of you who don’t know, I am a broadcast journalism major at the University of Central Florida. I aspire to be a TV reporter/anchor some day.  I’ve had two phenomenal internships and loads of other experience on my resume. I thought I had my ish together to land a national network internship. This summer I had countless interviews from top national TV  news internships and high market news stations across the country. I made it to numerous finalist lists.

Then….

“We’re sorry to inform you…”, “Thank you for applying but at this time we cannot…”

Basically,  I got rejected FROM ALL OF THEM! How was this possible? I got my first internship at a great station with less than half of the experience I had now.  I work hard. I pray. God this isn’t supposed to happen to me.

Then, one of the stations that I applied for told me they couldn’t offer me an internship, but they could offer me a part-time job with social media. Initially, I was so excited. Anything to get me out of my boring hometown of Lakeland, Florida for the summer. Although  it was not the kind of newsroom experience I wanted, some experience is better than none.  Things were falling in place. Till I calculated the living expenses and my salary and realized that I would be in deficit. I prayed and didn’t have peace with the decision. So, I declined the offer.

What else can I do in Lakeland, Florida? I decided to go on a job hunt for retail, food service, call centers, any and everything.  I got interviews for some,  rejections for others. The jobs that I were offered, declined me after they found out that I would have to leave in August.

I was like, let me get this straight God. I don’t have a summer internship. I don’t have a summer job.  Not to be dramatic, but do I even have a purpose this summer? Sn: I’m a really dramatic person and productivity queen, so being idle is a problem for me.

And God responded with a blessing…

If you read my last post about my life update, I’m going to be a published author.  In the midst of the storm, God blessed me with a publisher for my book. (I had countless rejections for that too…a long story for another day.) God opened up the door for me to have my book published.  I’m currently working on changing the creative direction for my story.  Let me tell you, writing takes work. God knew that he was planning for me to be a published author this fall. If I had an internship, I wouldn’t have had the time and energy to work as a writer full-time this summer. If I had gotten a job, I wouldn’t have been able to give my full attention to this creative story, that is so dear to my heart.

So the meat and potatoes of what I’m trying to say is… Man’s Rejection is God’s Redirection. It’s God’s Protection.

Here are some reasons why God may have allowed you to be rejected from something you wanted:

1. His plans are better:

God knows our end from our beginning. Sometimes when we cry and pray for something without asking for his will, he honestly laughs. He knows what’s best for you.  The thing that you might think is the best or only option to reach your dreams and goals, may not even be that great. If you were to get your way, you may have hated the job,  be miserable in the relationship, or lost yourself. Trust that he has the best intention for your life.

2. He wants to protect you:

What if you were to go to something or do a certain job and a fatal tragedy happened there? What if you got an opportunity, but you made a mistake that could cost you your reputation? Only God knows the unforseen dangers in this world. He loves you to much to let something hurt you physically or emotionally.

3.    You’re Not Ready Yet

Maybe the lost opportunity is something great that is meant for you. But maybe it’s not the right time for you to receive that blessing yet. God sometimes delays things in order for us to develop into who we need to be.  Also, the harsh reality is that life isn’t perfect. You can’t always get everything that you want. But you will always get everything that you need.

I hope this post encouraged you. If you have any questions, comments, concerns, please feel free to comment or leave me a message on the contact section. I am so glad to be back to posting. If I don’t post as often, I’m probably busy with book things. #AuthorLife.

But I will try to be more consistent. Thank you guys for reading.

Stay Blessed,

Abisola XoXo

Life Update: I’m Going To Be A Published Author

 

Blog Post Published Author

Hey guys!

How are you? I hope all is well.  I have one of my most exciting life updates.

Yes! I wrote a book, and it’s getting published.  I first announced this on FB and Instagram live. If you don’t follow me on IG, go ahead and do so for more updates: @abisola2798

#ShamelessPlug

So I wanted to share with you all on my blog, a little recap, if you didn’t get a chance to watch my announcements on those platforms.

 

THE PLOT

Without giving too much away, my book is a fictional story of a futuristic, Afrocentric society.  Essentially, black people have become the racial “majority” and it deals with the good and bad that comes with that. The main character is a Nigerian-American teen girl, and it follows her journey in a time of racial tension.

MY INSPIRATION

I first came up with the concept of the book when I was 16 years old. I was on a personal journey of embracing my black and African culture. I had also just taken a course in school (AP World History) where I learned about colonization and how Europeans and Caucasian people became the dominant ethnic group in society. With this in mind, I began to challenge that concept and think to myself “What if tables were turned and black people were in the position as the racial majority?” That’s where the story idea began to develop. I want to make it clear, this book is in no way about black supremacy or black power. In fact, it deals more with the issues that could occur if that were the case. The moral of the story #NOSPOILER is that not one single ethnic group should have dominance over the other. It is about equality and unity among people of all cultures. It’s about stopping prejudice, but still embracing who you are culturally.

MY JOURNEY

Becoming a published author was not an easy journey. First of all, it took me almost 2 years to write the book. Then, when I tried to get the book to literary agents and publishers, I faced so many rejections. Without exaggeration, I probably got over 100 rejections. It was quite discouraging. But I knew that this story had to be told. I knew that it meant a lot to me, and I couldn’t let my vision for it die.  So, with continued prayer and persistence, a publisher reached out to me from an author portal. They believed in my vision and wanted to help me to succeed. I was overjoyed. The journey has just begun.

I want to encourage you all to continue to believe in your dreams and passions. Even if it seems like the road is dim, keep hanging on. That job, that blog, that YouTube channel, that relationship, whatever you are trusting and believing for, don’t give up. It will come to pass in due time. God is faithful.

CALL TO ACTION

So now that you know about my book, I would love for you all to please support me. Please share this blog post, and when I give you all the details of the book, please support  me by purchasing it.  If you read my blog and enjoy it, imagine how good a book would be.  The book will be released in the fall.  I will continue to post about it, so heads up for that.

 

I am so excited. Also, if you all have any questions, comments, or concerns, you can reach me through the contact section of the blog.

 

Stay Blessed,

Abisola Xoxo

Summer Bops: Afrobeat Edition

Hey guys!

How’s everything going? I hope all is well. I hope that you are enjoying the summer, the weather and most importantly the music.  Summer hits are always what get me pumped and hype about summer.  Afrobeats is one of my favorite genres of music, especially to get you in a high spirited, fun vibed mood. So I’ve composed a playlist of sorts of my top favorite summer bops right now. Some of the are older, some of them are new. Either way, enjoy.

 

  1. Drogba Joanna

 

2.  Davido- FIA

 

3. Kiss Daniel- Yeba

 

4.  Burna Boy- Ye

 

 

5.  Olamide- Summer Body

 

 

6.  Maleek Berry- Let Me Know

 

 

7. Simi- O Wa Nbe

 

8.  Tiwa Savage ft. Omarion-  Get It Now Remix

 

 

 

While there’s several more I’ll just leave you with that little taste.

 

I hope you enjoyed this. Let me know which one is your favorite song.

 

Stay Blessed,

Abisola

ONE MONTH NATURAL HAIR UPDATE

Hey guys! So it’s been over a month since I’ve had my natural hair out. That’s the longest time I have ever done this.  I have to say, I’m loving it. I love my natural curls and kinks. I’m learning more and more about my hair and getting more comfortable with it. I will probably do another protective style soon, but I wanted to show you some of the styles and things I’ve done with my natural hair. Some have been a hit, others have been a miss. Don’t judge too hard. But,  it’s all a part of the journey. So enjoy.  Also, I had done a Dominic blow out at one point too. I did this to see my hair length and also get it trimmed. Ok, I’ll stop talking. Enjoy!

Blog Post Natural Hair 1

Simple Wash and Go

 

Blog Post Natural Hair 3

Half up down with two buns. (I didn’t walk out the house like this)

My mom thought it looked childish.

Blog Post Natural Hair 4

Half up and down with bun

Blog Post Natural Hair 5

Bun with flat twist in front

Blog Post Natural Hair 6

Minnie-Mouse Buns

 

Blog Post Natural Hair 7

Dominican Blow Out. My hair was a lot straighter but progressively got

bulkier and bulkier. This was like almost 3 weeks later.

Blog Post Natural Hair 8

Twist Out

Blog Post Natural Hair 2

Classic Puff

 

What was your favorite style?

Let me know in the comments.

 

Stay Blessed,

Abisola

Summer Fitness Challenge

 

Blog Post Summer Fitness Challenge

Hey guys!

How are you? I know it’s been a minute. I hope all is well. It’s June! We are halfway into the year and summer is really here. As much as the word “summer body” gets criticism,  I do know that in summer we tend to wear less clothing, so it only makes sense to make sure that your body is in tip top shape. I have been on a weight loss journey for a bit, but this summer, I want to be very intentional about my health and fitness.

That’s why I have created a fitness challenge that I would love you all to join me on. Whether your goal is to lose weight, gain weight or just be healthy all round, this challenge is for you. So, let’s get to it.

NUTRITION PLAN

  • Eat MOSTLY VEGETABLES
  • EAT MORE FRUITS
  • EAT LEAN PROTEINS
  • COMPLEX CARBS- BROWN RICE, QUINOA, WHOLE WHEAT, SWEET POTATOES
  • NO SUGAR
  • NO PROCESSED FOODS: If it comes in a wrapper or box or has lots of chemicals and preservatives it’s a NO (UNLESS it’s natural like nuts, seeds, or packaged healthy choices)
  • NO FRIED FOODS
  • LOOK AT NUTRITION LABELS

*If it has more than 5-6 grams of sugar don’t get it

*Aim for less than 20% of sodium for foods

*Aim for at least 3 grams of fiber in foods

*Aim for lots of nutrience

  • One cheat meal a week
  • Drink AT LEAST 4 BOTTLES/GLASSES OF WATER A DAY
  • No juice

FOOD LIST

PROTEINS

  • Chicken (Breast, drum, hen)
  • Turkey (Fresh or smoked but aim for fresh to reduce sodium)
  • Fish (Salmon, Tilapia, Tuna)
  • Shrimp
  • Eggs
  • Nuts
  • Edamame (They have them roasted and salted in Walmart produce section-great for snack) Or cook them
  • Mushroom
  • Veggie protein (Meat substitute)
  • Beans
  • Lentils

VEGETABLES

  • Broccoli
  • Cauliflower
  • Spinach
  • Kale
  • Asparagus
  • Brussel Sprouts
  • Mixed Vegetables
  • Green Beans
  • Stir-Fry Mix (Frozen at Walmart)
  • Zucchini (Yellow and Green)
  • Cabbage
  • Bell Peppers
  • Plantain
  • Any veggie you like

FRUIT

Eat fruit in moderation.  I recommend using it as a snack and earlier in the day. (2-3 servings/day)

  • Mango (Frozen at Walmart is cheap)
  • Banana
  • Orange
  • Apples
  • Pineapples (Frozen or canned is cheaper)
  • Berries
  • Kiwi
  • Strawberry
  • Grapes
  • Peaches

CARBS

Keep this to a minimum. (1-2 servings a day)

  • Sweet potato
  • Brown rice
  • Oatmeal
  • If craving rice they have frozen cauliflower rice (I heard it actually taste good) or Frozen zucchini noodles)
  • Quinoa

MEAL OPTIONS IDEAS

Breakfast

  1. Oatmeal with Banana and Berries
  2. Eggs with fresh spinach, onion, and bell peppers (on the side or as omelet). Eat with fruit/veg smoothie.
  3. Eggs with turkey sausage and or turkey bacon
  4. Quinoa fruit salad (Cook quinoa and serve with fruit) Similar to oatmeal and fruit. If feeling cheeky add no sugar honey

*Vary up your fruit with oatmeal to keep it interesting

*Include flax seed for extra health benefits

*Always eat your eggs with vegetables (Mushroom, broccoli or the WalmSart stir fry pack)

  1. Greek Yogurt (Plain) With Fruit (Berries) and Banana (A dap of honey). If hungry can eat with eggs or fruit/veg smoothie

Lunch/Dinner

  1. Grilled shrimp and asparagus with brown rice or quinoa. (If not that hungry just shrimp and asparagus)
  2. Grilled or baked chicken with sweet potato and broccoli
  3. Kale/or Spinach salad with chicken, berries, nuts,  and bell peppers. (Can include other veggies ) Use olive and black pepper for seasoning. Or sriracha( Take out the fruit if so)
  4. Spinach Salad with (Fresh or cooked spinach, chicken black beans, corn, broccoli with salsa and light cheese)
  5. Baked fish with spinach and baked plantain
  6. Salmon with zucchini, broccoli and sweet potato
  7. Veggie burger salad with spinach, feta cheese, mushroom
  8. Turkey burger salad (Same idea)
  9. Zucchini noodles salmon and broccoli(CHOICE OF VEGGIE)
  10. Lentil soup with sweet potato (If season well, taste great)
  11. Chicken Tacos on whole wheat tortilla (Lots of veggies) or Veggie ground beeft

Basically any variation of protein and veggies and carbs once a meal/day.

SNACKS

Limit snacking to 1-2 times a day.

  • Fruit
  • Nuts
  • Seeds (Pumpkin, sunflower, edamame, )
  • AIR popped popcorn
  • Light string cheese
  • Carrots and hummus

FITNESS

  • Aim to workout at least 3 times a week for at least 30 minutes a day
  • You can do home workouts from YouTube- I love Pop sugar fitness, Fitness Blender,  Emi Wong, Chloe Ting,  Pop Pilates. There are so many options and it’s all free
  • Run or take a long walk
  • Go to the gym and do a combo of cardio and strength
  • Do Group Fitness Classes at the Gym

 

I hope you all will join me in this challenge. I would love to hear how you all are doing with it.

 

Stay Healthy,

Abisola Xoxo

 

My Thoughts on The Royal Wedding

 

Blog Post Royal Wedding

 

Hey guys,

How are you? Wedding season is here and if you’re not living under a rock, then you’d know that one of the biggest weddings of the year was yesterday: The Royal Wedding between Prince Harry and Meghan Markle. I wanted to share some thoughts I had on the wedding.

For starters, I am extremely happy for the couple. I obviously don’t know them, but seeing love just gets me in all kinds of feels. Plus, let’s get the elephant out of the room. Seeing a melanated sista as a new princess is even better.  Meghan being biracial is just the first steps for inclusion and diversity in the United Kingdom. Some critics say why should we be happy that she’s with a white man.  Or being a black woman makes here royalty enough. But while I do agree that as a black woman you are a queen, the significance is that she has the opportunity to bring representation in the royal family.  Little mixed girls can look up to her and think that one day they can be in prestigious positions.

Now let’s get to the real fun stuff, the dress.  I’m not here to bash her, but I was not a big fan. I thought it was very plain. There could have been more embellishments and a more precise silhouette.  I understand that she had conservative guidelines she had to follow, but I felt that the look was anti-climactic. Nonetheless, she still looked stunning. She is a natural and timeless beauty. Her glow was fantastic.

Their love story is beautiful. They were set up on a blind date by mutual friends. How romantic!  Also, the fact that she was a divorcee and is older than him, just goes to show that your past does not determine your future. When they were together, you could really tell that they were in love.

Overall,  the entire experience seemed so magical. It felt like it was something straight out of a fairy tale. I’m so glad that I could witness (from the internet) this historic moment.

I wish the couple all the best.

 

Stay Blessed,

Abisola

No Boo, No Problem?: 5 Reasons It’s Ok Not To Have a Summer Love

 

Blog Post No Boo No Problem.jpg

Hey guys! How are you doing? Summer is coming and summer fling season is almost among us. While it may be tempting to jump into a fun summer love,  it’s not a bad thing to be single during this time. Your season of singleness is a precious one. Here are the 5 reasons why you should embrace your singleness this summer.

1.You Can Be More Care Free

When you are single the only thing that you have to worry about is yourself. If you’re single this summer, spend timing enjoying this good weather with good company (other than a romantic person). Hang out with your friends. Enjoy some self care time. Don’t stress your singleness but embrace the time in your life.  Be selfish (in reason). Do things that you want to do without consulting anyone. Be spontaneous. Don’t overthink things but live your life doing things that make YOU happy.

2.  You Can REALLY Focus On Your Passions

Yes, in a relationship, you can still do things that you are passionate about. But, in your season of singleness,  especially summer time, when your workload is lessened , you can dedicate more time to pursuing your passions and hobbies. This summer, if you find yourself single,  dedicate that extra free time to the things that you love. Whether it’s your art, your music, your photography or cooking,  hone in on your hobbies and enjoy focusing your energy on that.

3. You Can Save Some Coin

For my traditional men out there, or my modern ladies, going on dates can be expensive.  If you are single, you don’t have to pay for anyone’s meal. You don’t have to feel pressure to spend money doing activities to keep the spark alive.  What spark? Enjoy your time with your dinner for 1 or binging your favorite show without anyone interrupting.

4.   You Can Build Yourself Up

I’m a big advocate of self-development, especially in your season of singleness. How can you be someone’s partner or spouse if you have nothing to offer them? This summer if you are single, work on being a better person.  Develop spiritual and mental clarity.  Get in the best shape of your life. Work on your patience. Practice generosity. Whatever it is that you want to do to be the best version of yourself, do it during this season of singleness.

5.  You Can Discover Yourself

Being single is the perfect time for self-discovery. This summer, if you are single, spend time with yourself. Yes.  Ride solo for a little bit. Learn about your likes, dislikes, habits that need change. Discover who you really are as a person.  When you find out who you are, don’t forget to love yourself. How can someone love you, if you don’t love yourself? Learn to be 100% yourself. In the right time, the perfect person will fall in love with the person who is self-assured.

Well, that’s all I have for today.

Let me know if you have any questions, comments, or concerns.

 

Stay Blessed,

Abisola Xoxo